My (22F) boyfriend (22M) of 2.5 years told me he cheated on me a year ago while thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail, am I forgiving too soon?

tldr; my boyfriend told me that he cheated on me a year ago while thru-hiking the AT, deeply regrets it and wants to do everything he can to help make our relationship stronger/work through his issues, am I forgiving him too soon?

Sorry for being so long! This is my first personal post on reddit...

My boyfriend and I are both about to graduate college, we have been together for 2.5 years. BF struggles with depression and in February 2019 decided to take a semester off to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail as a way to figure himself out. Our relationship was very solid up to that point, bf is always loving, intelligent, a good listener, supportive of me during my parents' divorce, adventurous, and independent. Of course we would miss each other but I wanted to do my best to be supportive and assured him I would write letters, we would call, etc. I had had success with long distance in previous relationships and with him before so I had the typical sadness of having to be apart but also pride in him for wanting to complete this dream goal of his...the following months of long distance (February-June 2018) was challenging due to limited communication (lack of cell service in woods, we were both busy) but overall fulfilling and I thought we had come out of it stronger. I hiked with him for a week over Spring break, we would send voice messages to each other, listen to audio books separately and then talk about them, send mail, etc. He still was still struggling with depression while being high-functioning once he came back, but after a brief adjustment period we got right back into our groove and we really grew together...fast forward to last month, we are quarantining together, goofing around in his bed, and out of the blue tells me that he had cheated on me with a girl that he had hiked with for a few weeks a year ago (May 2019). I had ended up meeting this girl when I met up with him while he was hiking near my town and went to see him and meet his "friends", and I had naively gotten to know her as we all spent time together over a weekend, little did I know they had UNPROTECTED sex a week prior. I cried a lot when he told me, he cried too (I've only seen him tear up before) and he constantly told me how much he fucked up and regretted it, I didn't really talk to him for a week while I told him to really think about the fact that he betrayed me, put me a risk due to unprotected sex, and then lied to me by not telling me for a year. I am close to his mom and talked to her about it after he called her sobbing and scared of losing me, and also have been talking to my close friends about it. I wrote him a letter detailing everything that I thought was fucked up about his behavior and how if we are to continue our relationship he has to put in a lot of work to earn back my trust. BF since has started consistently talking to a therapist, got tested for sti and stds, and seems to be taking initiative to address his behavior, and as a result we have been talking through everything. I believe BF that he regrets it and that he says he won't ever do it again. We are young but we both agree we feel like family to each other and BF talks about how he can see an amazing future with me and is scared of losing that possibility. I am typically a very confident person and know my own worth, but it is hard for me to stay angry once I have released all my emotions. Oddly we feel closer to each other now more than ever (or maybe not oddly because the Lie has finally been uncovered). It has only been a few weeks since he told me this news, am I being too forgiving? He says he understands when I say he cannot take my forgiving/laid back nature for granted, but maybe our quarantine situation is warping my judgment? Am I too dependent on keeping romantic and sexual intimacy during this uncertain time, or is it worth working through it? I guess only time will tell? If you read all the way through this, thank you, it felt good to write it all out....

Submitted May 28, 2020 at 08:06PM by glacial_erotic https://ift.tt/36JIAQm