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I (46f) think I may have ruined my sex life.

My husband (47m) and I have been together for over 20 years now and he’s always been obsessed with my ass. Literally every time we’re alone he’s trying to stick his face in my ass. Early on in the relationship this bothered me, I sat him down to talk about it and he explained to me that it was his primary interest sexually and that he just didn’t want a relationship without it. At the time he was the best boyfriend I’d ever had and so I just learned to accept it as a part of him.

Fast forward and he’s still just as obsessed with my ass as he was when we were twenty five. I’ve seen countess friends and colleagues lose their sex lives and even have their marriage end in divorce, but year after year my husbands interest in my ass has stayed the same.

I don’t want it to sound like it’s a bad thing either, he’s still an amazing husband. Great father to our daughter, very understanding, he’s never mistreated me, he’s never even called me a bad name in a fight. I’m absolutely grateful for him. I just wish his interests were more varied than having me stand or lay down while he’s sniffing or licking my ass.

Needless to say, there have been days where I just wasn’t comfortable with it and turned him down. He’s never complained or guilted me into letting him do it. He’s always been respectful of my boundaries. Unfortunately, last month during the beginning of the quarantine I was in no mood for it. Our daughter left the house to go for a drive and the second she was gone, he was behind me trying to pull my pants down.

I snapped at him. I told him that I’m tired of him touching my ass and that it makes me uncomfortable that it’s all he’s interested in. He immediately backed off and apologized for making me uncomfortable. I told him I was sorry for yelling at him and I thought that was that.

Now he hasn’t initiated anything with me in a month. We’ve had sex but not nearly to the frequency we had before. He’s not even orgasming most of the time. He doesn’t even feel like he’s “there” while we’re having sex. I told him I’m sorry for what I said. I told him I didn’t mean it. I told him it was the stress of my sister being a nurse right now and being generally uncomfortable that day. Nothing makes a difference. I’ve practically offered up my ass on a silver platter. The most he’s come in contact with it is a quick kiss and an “I love you honey”.

Yesterday I confronted him about it again, telling him this “fetish” of his has been a daily part of our marriage for 17 years now and after a month of complete disinterest from him I don’t feel like he’s even attracted to me anymore. He told me that he is still very much attracted to me, but that he’s going to need time for him to “think through want he wants”.

I want to book some online sessions with a couples therapist, but he’s not interested. Every day he’s getting more and more distant. I know he’s not going to divorce me, and I know we haven’t completely stopped having sex, but it’s starting to sink in that he’s given me this constant physical attention for the majority of our marriage and it scares me to think we may never be that intimate again. My question is if I give him space and just act like it never happened will things go back to the way they were before, or have I potentially ruined our sex life?

Tl;dr: I told my husband his fetish made me uncomfortable and now he hasn’t initiated any sexual contact with me in a month.



Submitted May 01, 2020 at 02:37PM by needadvice74bb https://ift.tt/2VT7Rna
I (46f) think I may have ruined my sex life. I (46f) think I may have ruined my sex life. Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on May 01, 2020 Rating: 5

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