My [29f] husband [32M] does not appreciate the things I do to make our home nice and I’m starting to become very frustrated.

We bought a home last year and my husband is a very frugal person, so our home has looked kind of bare since. We got stimulus checks and since we have a little extra money, he agreed he would be ok with me buying curtains for the house. We don’t have curtains in any rooms except for one and it’s something I’ve been wanting for a long time.

Initially I was going to buy them online and showed him the price, which he was fine with. I found out today while he was at work that I could go get them from Big Lots for a cheaper price, so I did. While there I also got a piece of art for $40 since the walls in our bedroom are completely bare. Even with the art, I ended up spending about $20 less total than I would have spent buying just the curtains online.

I spend all afternoon hanging these curtains and this art. It took a long time because we don’t have a drill (something else he doesn’t think we should spend money on), so I did everything by hand with my screwdriver, but I was happy with the way it looked and couldn’t wait for him to get home to see it.

When he finally got home, he went into the bedroom but didn’t say anything about it. I asked him what he thought since he was being so quiet and he said “I mean, it looks good, I’m just surprised that money was spent on art.” I showed him our online banking statement and that I still spent less than originally planned, but he didn’t really have anything else to say.

I’m pretty crestfallen.

My back hurts and I spent my entire afternoon of my day off trying to make our house look nice and stayed within a $ amount he said he was ok with. Everything that has been brought into our house to make it look nice has come from my efforts. I put up these curtains, I’ve put up every one of the very few pieces of art we own. I picked out the furniture, the dishes. When something breaks like the toilet or a doorknob I’m the one that gets the tools out and gets on YouTube and figures out how to fix it.

I don’t know how to convey to him that I don’t feel appreciated, and honestly I’m starting to resent him for it. I’ve said the words “it hurts my feelings when you say stuff like that” yet this keeps happening. I don’t even need to be praised, but if he could just not shit on something after I’ve worked on it like saying the art I bought and put up was a waste of money, I would be so much happier.

Am I overreacting? If not, how can I bring this back up in a way that will make him understand that he’s hurting my feelings? It feels like if things were up to him we’d just live in an empty house with a futon on the floor and he’d like it better that way.

TL;DR: Husband makes no efforts to do anything to help our home look nice or well-maintained, yet only has negative things to say about my efforts. Why is he like this and how can I make him stop?

Submitted May 26, 2020 at 02:58PM by Xandropra https://ift.tt/3bZMDZG