TL;DR: I'm not being a good partner, I'm being resentful and passive aggressive and hurtful. How do I become better?
I love my partner, but when I see him accomplish a task in a way that doesn't make sense to me, I get really annoyed and do the task myself. Making him feel belittled or that I don't trust him.
When I don't see him doing something the way I would do it, or when he fucks up, I don't hesitate to let him know, and most times I don't sugarcoat it.
I recognize an imbalance in the relationship financially, (for example, we recently bought a house where we share the mortgage but I am the one who paid 100% for the downpayment) and I get really upset, (perhaps irrationally upset) when I can't get first pick of my office or furniture choices. I feel as though I earned that first pick, and feel some sort of resentment that he is calling shots in an area I don't feel he contributed in. I feel awful admitting that.
I realize I'm treating my partner the way I've watched my own mother tear down my dad all my life, passive aggressive and almost bully-like.
How do I keep my expectations at bay, but also not compromise on things that matter to me in the relationship? How do I learn to allow him to make mistakes and not immediately intervene to avoid these mistakes? How do I learn to refrain making mean comments when I'm frustrated when I don't get what I want?
I want to be better. I don't want to treat him the way my mom treats my dad. I know I'm not being a good partner, but I want to be better.
Submitted May 31, 2020 at 12:17PM by pollanchor https://ift.tt/2AmZTdV
No comments:
Post a Comment