Girlfriend [25f] found out I [27m] make 3 times her salary. She now thinks I am cheaping out on her . She wants more expensive gifts and doesn't want to pay out of pocket anymore.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year. During the quarantine, we are basically living together. I'll be honest this has been my first real serious relationship out of college, I think just the circumstances of now living together. And earlier this year, I had a medical issue that she supported me through. So this is just overall pretty new for me, having a girlfriend that is this big part of my life.

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We were talking about our future goals as we both live in NYC, and neither of us thinks it's affordable to have a family here. We were going further into it and she asked me how much I make. Before this, she knew I made more than her, but not how much more. I looked up her role on LinkedIn plus I knew other people in her career track so I had a pretty good ballpark. I didn't want to share, but if we were talking about kids I thought it would be wrong not to share my salary. So I did......

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She was happy, she was like wow I knew you were smart didn't know you made that much. I was like yeah, but in my field its pretty competitive and a lot of times you make more money in your youth than you do when you are older. So I have been pretty good at saving my money.

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Things were good, until later when it came to order food. Generally I order I would say 3/4 of the time. This time when I told her what I wanted, she then asked for my phone to order the food. I didn't think too much of it but definitely noted it.

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She then started getting really moody the next day and when I talked to her she was rude for no reason. We talked more and it came out that her in eyes, she says she doesn't care about my salary. That she wants to be with a man that values her, and that this whole money thing is a big wake up call to her. That I don't value her that I am not putting in that much effort.

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She went on to tell me how her ex at Dunkin Donuts saved up money to take her out for a nice dinner at their local seafood restaurant. That it doesn't matter what the thing its just that the effort is there. But the fact that I have this much money, and don't take her to nice places says a lot about me.

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She started calling me cheap when I defended myself. We went back and forth. My point is that if we get married, I am not the type of guy that would have a Mercedes, and tell her here's a used civic. I would make sure we are equitable, it would be our money, but we haven't crossed that threshold there. And that its not like I spend a lot on myself. None of it really mattered. I don't know what to tell her? I think she has an immature view of money? Like she isn't thinking about building wealth, HSA, 401k, a down payment on a house, etc. She is just thinking that I am cheap.

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Like it's so strange because when I saw my girlfriend she was pretty resourceful with her money and that's one of the big positives about her. But it seems like her in eyes if she made as much as I did she would just go blow it.

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Not sure what this means here? Was I wrong for sharing my salary? Should I have waited till we were engaged? I don't know when it's normal for couples to share that type of info. Also, what do you guys think about me being cheap? I do take her to nice places from time to time and I pay, just sometimes she pays too.

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Tl;DR - told my girlfriend my salary and she thinks I am cheaping out on her

Submitted May 31, 2020 at 04:26PM by throwRA_BD https://ift.tt/3dmjkBZ