I knew when we were dating and in the beginning of our marriage that he was "in-love" with me, but my experience with my mom's marriages told me that this would not last and we'd grow into something more like tolerance. (I grew up with unhealthy marriage examples, so what did I know?)
As we had kids and our life responsibilities increased, we settled into what I would consider a good working relationship. We got along well enough and made a good team, balancing out strengths and weaknesses.
Well, our kids are adults now and our focus is turning back to each other. I've had more time to consider the state of our relationship. He's always said the words and his actions have often been what would be considered loving. But in my confused mind, I've always seen it as his natural kindness and sense of duty. This last year, however, I've started to accept that these were signs that indicate actual love - like the kind you read about in books or like you see in those cute old couples out holding hands on public.
About a week ago I woke up to see him staring at me with a big goofy grin on his face. I just started laughing! The man had been watching me sleep and was genuinely glad to see me wake up! He was like a puppy happy to see me. That's when this thought really hit me. Holly cow. He really does love me! I'm not just another responsibility.
How sad is it that I thought like this for so long? I know he's loved me all along. This is nothing new. I've just been so caught up in life and my own insecurities and I haven't been able to see it.
TLDR: After 20+ years of mariage, I finally understand that my husband really does love me deeply. I just could never accept it because I'm a mess.
Submitted November 23, 2019 at 02:33PM by JustMedoingthethings https://ift.tt/2KP27Vx
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