It's been about a month and a half since I first posted about this. I was in shock and denial still, and comments were really helpful to start seeing the situation for what it really is, so I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to comment.
Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/aia2q4/my_25f_boyfriend_24m_has_been_hiding_his_heavy/
So on to the update. At first I tried to approach him in an understanding and compassionate way, expressing concern and offering support if he wanted to work on the problem. All that did was make him become extra careful in hiding and super elaborate in lying, it's just because I was now on red alert that I was noticing things more and more. He simply didn't agree that there was a problem and there was no way we could reach a compromise. I may have lost my composed and compassionate self once or twice and we got into a heated argument or ended in tears. Didn't change a thing, except pushing him further away and we started seeing each other a lot less often. Everything just deteriorated so quickly, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Sadly, the heated argument also ended in verbal abuse on his side, calling me names and belittling me. I couldn't believe he is the same person I started dating, but at least that helped make the decision. I may be confused about staying in a relationship with an addict, but there is no way in hell I will stay in an abusive relationship, addiction or not. Credit also goes to my amazing family and friends for supporting me through this.
So I broke up with him. Well, he didn't really want to let me go (why though!? if he was going to lie to me and see me as an obstacle to his lifestyle, I don't get it, why try to stay with me?), so it took me two attempts, but the second time was final. I felt lost and empty and defeated, but also like a sense of control was back in my life and I'm not just panicking about someone else's decisions I cannot influence. We are no contact now and it's really hard, I still hope he gets better one day. I'm just confused with how everything unfolded and am trying to understand what I could have done differently to not end up in this situation ever again.
Thank you everyone for your support on my original post. Hopefully with time it will get better.
tl;dr We broke up and I'm trying to learn from this and move on
Submitted February 23, 2019 at 11:30AM by 1212whattodo https://ift.tt/2tBWT6x
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