Hi, maybe this belongs more in r/parenting but I found it was more about small children, tell me if should post elsewhere:)
TL;DR My son's boyfriend house is abusive and I would really want him to come stay with us.. I have some concerns
I'll try to keep this as clear and precise as possible.
I'm a mom to three beautiful children a daughter (19) and two sons (16, 14). My 16 year old son (let's call him L) came out as gay about two years ago. About 8 months ago he introduced us to his first boyfriend, (let's call him R). R turned 17 at the beginning of February and L will be 17 at the beginning of August so they are in the same school year.
I always found R kind and sweet but really shy and quiet.. I learned a couple of weeks ago just how bad his home situation is and it's only gotten worse since R's dad discovered his son his gay.. I'll give a few example so you understand how it breaks my heart he has to stay there: - They are abused physically and verbally multiple times a week. -They have to follow some strict military lifestyle like bootcamp training every weekend, mandatory headshaving, being yelled at by the dad as if he was a sergeant. - R broke a vase as a child and had to sleep outside
Now when I learned all that the only thing I want to do is for him to come live with us but I do have a few concerns and would appreciate some opinions on them: -if R and my son breakup, R will be homeless - both of them sharing the bedroom (there's no spare bedroom).. L told me they aren't ready for complete sex but it stills worries me because they are young -we will be tighter on money with a fourth kid but still able to manage - R comes with a huge baggage and is quite sensitive, he gets startled easily, and if you speak loudly to him or approach him brusquely he gets teary and feels bad.. my husband made him cry once when debating on some political subject.. we are good people but not trained to deal well with such trauma -Finally I'm worried for my son L.. I know they really are in love with each other but these are quite heavy things to deal with at his age.. L as been bullied a lot and when I expressed my concerns to him he said exactly "we are each other's safe space" which is quite a big thing to say when so young
I, of course talked about it with everyone else in the family to know if they would be comfortable with that and those are our main concerns.. Also, my son is going to college close to home and R wants to study to be a mechanic also close to home so they'll probably stay after high school as L wants to stay home during his studies to save money
Thanks in advance :)
Edit: In my country you can leave your home without the permission of your parents at 17, already done my homeworks on all things law related
Submitted February 25, 2019 at 06:54PM by anonymoushelp7 https://ift.tt/2NqTj8D
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