My partner and I have been together 7 years. I suffer from a hormonal disorder that will make it extremely difficult or impossible for me to get pregnant. I told my partner very early in the relationship that I may not ever be able to have kids and he didn’t care, he wasn’t sure that he even wanted kids himself.
Until last night apparently.
We were having a discussion about our future and I was saying that potentially I would consider adopting rather than carrying a child as I am not sure I would be able to cope mentally with a miscarriage which is likely with my condition. He started to get uncomfortable saying he would never adopt, I said okay, that’s his prerogative. I asked what if I wasn’t able to have children, as he knows it’s unlikely that I would be able to get pregnant or carry a baby to term... He admits that if I couldn’t have children, he would want to leave and find someone who could.
I am beyond devastated. I cried myself to sleep and cried as I woke up. He hasn’t hugged me, touched me, comforted me. I’m just dealing with this all on my own.
- We have bought a house, we have two dogs, we have well and truly started a life together but he’s so comfortable throwing it all away.
- If he were infertile, I wouldn’t even hesitate to stay with him as I love him more than theoretical kids.
- My value in the relationship now feels like it’s based on my ability to give him children.
- He’s known I’m likely infertile since the beginning and effectively just waiting to see if I’m going to fail him with the intention to bail if I do.
I don’t know what to do, I love him so much and he is my best friend but I am so hurt. But I am so ANGRY because:
- He suffers debilitating PTSD, depression and chronic pain which often makes life very dark, but I have stood by him without hesitation because it’s not his fault.
- He didn’t work for two years because of his depression and I put myself into crippling debt to support us both. I could have left but I stayed and have been paying the debt off for years with no help and whilst I could be resentful, I chose to move forward with forgiveness.
- He has a terrible temper and is naturally negative while I am a fairly positive person which has been hard on me but I love him so I stay.
Despite all of this, I am only worth staying with if I can have kids. Everything I have given to this relationship boils down to my body miraculously being able to carry a child to term. And I don’t know what to do...
TL;DR My partner is considering leaving me if I can’t have kids and I don’t know if I should leave.
Submitted February 23, 2019 at 02:53PM by SarahMeghen https://ift.tt/2VfW3Z6
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