My (31F) husband (32M) talks too much and I am being driven insane. How do I get through to him about this?

I love my husband dearly and we have a solid marriage. There is an ongoing issue that I need your help with though.

I'm a pretty introverted person and not much of a talker or sharer. My husband is the opposite and it is causing an issue that he is unaware of that I need to broach with him. He loves talking to me and sharing things with me. Be it conversations at work, telling me about a new show or game he discovered, or talking about movies or history. He has always said he doesn't feel like anything that happens in his life "counts" until he has shared it with me.

The problem is that he is ALWAYS talking at me. I say "at" me because he will launch into a lecture or rant when I'm trying to be engaged in MY OWN thoughts or tasks. He will do this when I have just walked in the door from work, when I'm trying to compose an email or text message, when I'm trying to study a recipe while cooking, while I'm watching something on tv or reading. Basically, times when I'm already engaged in something.

A recent example, I received some bad news about my dad and really needed some quiet and to be left with my own thoughts to sort through. As soon as I walked in the door, he started launched into a story about work without letting me get a word in. I finally interrupted him and said I need some space to think about something and am not interested in having a conversation right now. He apologized and said ok. Gave me about 10 minutes until he came into the room to explain the entire premise of a movie he watched a few days ago. I wanted to scream. I had to tell him about the news about my dad before I had processed it and was even ready to talk about it just to impart why I SERIOUSLY NEEDED TO BE LEFT ALONE.

I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own headspace to think my own thoughts and it is driving me insane. Sometimes, I don't want to talk and more often, I don't want to LISTEN. I don't want to have to put aside whatever I am trying to do or think about to give him my undivided attention. I want to be able to focus on what I'm doing or mentally processing so that I can complete it without being distracted.

Sometimes, I find myself completely tuning him out so that I can continue whatever the hell I was doing or thinking about. I decided this is not the right way to go about it. I have been doing better about speaking up and telling him that I need some space. But I don't think I've really gotten though to him because as soon as we are both home from work he is following me around the house and talking at me about things I'm not interested in at the moment. I feel like I can't breathe.

My husband is extremely intelligent but not super self aware. I am worried that if I broach this without some planned talking points that I'm going to snap and be rude or hurt his feelings. How do I get through to him that I need him to allow me to have my own headspace and he needs to stop making me a captive audience? Thank you!

TL;DR My(31F) husband (32M) talks too much and I need help with how to get through to him that I don't enjoy it, can't constantly give him attention and need my own headspace.

Submitted January 31, 2019 at 04:23PM by HollowsOfYourHeart http://bit.ly/2Tpyrkh