My (22M) GF (21F) encouraged her best girl friend to cheat on her boyfriend with one of my good friends. We are in a huge argument over it.

I (22M) have been dating my gf (21F) for a year, and we are both in our last year of college. Yesterday, her best friend (I'll refer to her as K) from another college was visiting and we went out to bars last night. Girlfriends best friend has a boyfriend, who I've met twice and who was not with us last night.

For the most part, our night was going great. I was getting along with K and she was getting along with all of my guy friends we were out with. Around midnight, my girlfriend tells me that K wants to hook up with a boy tonight, and that K thought one of my friends was hot. As she says this, K jumps into the conversation. Suddenly I feel on the spot for deciding whether K should cheat on her boyfriend with one of my good friends. K tells me she is planning on breaking up with her boyfriend in a couple months anyways. I tell her she shouldn't cheat and should break up with him now if that's how she feels. This is when I removed myself from the conversation. I partly just didn't want to deal with it but I also wanted to see what my girlfriend would tell K to do.

The night goes on and my gf and K are sitting in the corner chatting in a secretive way. Meanwhile, I let my good friend know that K is interested in him, but I made it clear she has a boyfriend and that it's probably best he doesn't get involved. He agrees and says he's not really interested. However, he's a single guy and if an attractive girl is dead set on going home with him, I know he wouldn't turn her down. I just wanted to be straightforward with him.

Moving forward to when we leave the bar to go home. The four of us (myself, gf, K, and my guy friend) walk out together. When we get outside, my gf and I start walking to her house, but instead of K coming with us, my gf basically tells her to go home with my friend. My friend gives me a weird look, knowing K has a boyfriend, but I don't say anything in the moment. Maybe I gave him a shrug, as if to say "it's her choice." K says goodbye to us and walks away with my friend. Once it's just me and my gf, I express how uncomfortable the whole situation was and how I'm disappointed in how she encouraged her best friend to cheat. This caused gf to panic, start crying, and call K repeatedly trying to get her to not go home with my friend. She didn't answer, but after asking my friend this morning, he confirmed he did not hook up with K, and she slept on a couch at his house.

Anyways, we ended up arguing for hours until like 4am. Basically, I am angry that she put me in a tough spot by asking me whether K should go home with my good friend. Furthermore, I am angry about how she facilitated K cheating on her boyfriend. I see this as a major red flag. Our arguing basically got us nowhere last night. I expressed my dissatisfaction, and she basically just kept deflecting and telling me "I love you" "I wanna marry you someday" and "our relationship isn't like her friend K's." My conclusion is that, at the moment, she's completely missing the point of why I am upset.

So first, am I justified in being so upset over how my gf handled things last night? I know K can make her own decisions whether I like them or not, but I really feel like my gf egged her on. Second, how can I communicate why this is such a big deal to me and get her to understand my viewpoint. I'm seriously questioning my gf's morals and how she thinks about relationships right now. Thank you for any advice.

TLDR: GF encouraged her best friend to cheat on her boyfriend, with one of my good friends, last night. She put me in a tough spot between her, her friend, and my friend that I was not comfortable with. Now I am questioning my gf's morals and how she views relationships.

Submitted February 24, 2019 at 07:52AM by jay2243 https://ift.tt/2SnPzFw