Boyfriend [25M] has locked himself in our bedroom because he's mad at me [25F].

We've been together for 5 years, lived together for 3.5. We've had fights before that required some space to cool down, but this time is different.

We got home after a small friend gathering last night and he immediately locked himself in the guest bedroom after using the restroom. No words said, no argument had. Our drive home was quiet but it normally is when we're on our way home at 2 in the morning. We've had a few arguments about my behavior coming off too flirtatious around other men when we're all drinking. So I have a good idea that that is what the underlying issue is here, even though he's not speaking to me.

He's been locked in the room for over twelve hours. I bought us breakfast this morning and he refused to come out saying that he wasn't hungry. I replied saying okay but I'm ready to talk about the matter whenever he is ready to come out. It has been radio silence since. Our walls are pretty thin and I haven't even heard him move. He has not exited to eat, drink, or even pee (I dont even want to know how he's making that work). We've needed space from each other after getting angry before, but this is the first time in our relationship that he is going out of his way to deprive himself just to avoid me. I am the opposite of confrontational and have a habit of shutting down verbally when he's angry with me, so I'm not sure why he feels like he can't even walk past me to take care of his needs.

I guess I just dont know what to do in this situation. Do I just keep waiting it out? Do I try to make contact and suggest I'm the one who hides out for a while so he can come out while still having space? Should I ask if I can come in so we can talk? I want to give him the space he needs to cool off but I hate that he's making himself suffer. I also wonder if maybe he's looking for me to start the dialogue, even though he's the one behind a locked door?

TLDR: Boyfriend's mad at me for unclear reason. Has been locked in a room for over 12 hours. How to proceed.

Edit/ Small Update: I decided about an hour ago (after he'd been in the room for about 14 hours) to shoot him a text. I said I wished he would have a conversation with me, but I couldn't make him face me. I told him I decided to spend the rest of the evening in our master bedroom so he could roam the rest of the apartment without running into me. I said I loved him, but did not apologize for anything. He did not respond but is now in the living room eating dinner. I felt like I had to be the bigger person in this situation even though some people were adamant I just ignore him. However, if he does not come to bed tonight and continues this behavior tomorrow when he gets home from work there will have to be a confrontation. The longer I wait the less sympathetic/guilty I feel. Thanks for your input.

Submitted February 24, 2019 at 12:14PM by lonelylittleplum https://ift.tt/2SXvJ9j