My (29F) boyfriend (M29) of 10.5 years cheated on me with a married coworker (and is married to a woman I know / acquaintance) who he has known for 3 months).

First post (unfortunately) and a throwaway for obvious reasons..

I knew he had been acting suspicious the last few months and I asked him a few times about it, telling him I was feeling neglected lately. There was a recent death in the family which he said was the reasoning for his behaviour.

He says he has plans with said co-worker to grab a beer at a pub/restaurant on Saturday. I mention I have a gift card for said place and for him to take it. The next day I needed to grab something from his wallet and saw the gift card was still there. Asked him about it and he lied about actually going there and how he thought telling me he just went to her house would upset me.

Later that evening I bring it up again and ask if anything is going on and if he has feelings for her. He looks me dead straight in the eye and says no to both. I then ask to see his messages between him and her and that if he has nothing to hide then he would show me. He says he confides in her about our relationship and that there's probably stuff I would get upset about them talking about me.

Through his gmail/google account I was able to access most of the messages that he had backed up on whatsapp (I know this was so wrong, but I just knew I would find something). They were talking all day everyday since they've met and in the most recent messages there was talk of what they had done etc. while I was out of town. I couldn't bring myself to read everything but I read enough. She also told my boyfriend that her and her partner are now trying for a kid (which is so messed up).

So my question is.. do I even bother to try to salvage our relationship or is this too far gone? This relationship has been all I have known for most of my life. And do I tell the wife?

TLDR; boyfriend of 10.5 years cheated on me (and lied about it) with a married coworker who is trying to get pregnant with her partner (woman).

Submitted January 28, 2019 at 12:40PM by cheatedonthrowaway__ http://bit.ly/2Um85j5