I have known my friend Luke for over 6 years. We met in high school, and have been hanging out together on and off for a few years now.
Recently, Luke has been doing things that he perceives “buddies” should do. Playfully punching me in the arm, insulting me, stuff like that. I don’t like being touched in general, so being punched is definitely not pleasant for me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and annoyed.
I told him this, and he said “It’s just something that guy friends do. You can punch me back if you want.” I told him that I had no desire to punch him, and that he should stop punching me. He seemed disappointed, but we both dropped it.
One night, I was mortified when he stuck his finger in my ear. It was wet, so I knew he’d licked it. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I said. “It’s called a wet willy. Don’t get so bent out of shape.” he said.
I let it go, but it seriously bothered me. You don’t just rub your spit into someone else’s ear, it’s fucking gross. He’s tried to do it again multiple times because he thinks my reaction is funny, but it’s honestly pissing me off to the point where I don’t want to be around him anymore.
He’s also been doing other invasive things, like putting his arm around me and forcing me to sway to the beat of his favorite songs, and pinching me really hard (he thinks it’s funny when I cry out in pain).
I finally had enough, and asked him why he’s been behaving this way. Luke said that he thinks that I don’t do anything to “evolve” our friendship, and that we should have more inside jokes and be more playful around each other.
First off, I’m not the playful type. I don’t like to mess with people, even if they’re my friends. I like to be very straight-forward, and treat people in a kind way. I don’t even really like playful insults, because it makes me defensive, and they sometimes hurt my feelings. I only want kindness from a friend, and I don’t want to play stupid games like punching each other over and over again. It’s completely unnecessary.
If this is some sort of requirement for him, I don’t want any part of it. My only fear is that Luke will lose interest in me as a friend if I don’t play along. I want to be around the Luke who talks to me nicely and respects my space, not the Luke who plays idiotic games to annoy me.
He wants me to act a certain way, and I want him to act a certain way. Is there any way we can compromise here without ending the friendship entirely?
TL;DR My friend has been playfully punching and insulting me, I don’t like it, but I’m worried if I tell him to stop doing those things it will be a dealbreaker for him. Is there any way to approach this that won’t result in the friendship being over?
Submitted January 28, 2019 at 08:14AM by No1stupid http://bit.ly/2sQw5Px
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