My [24F] boyfriend’s [26M] friend [25F] wanted my boyfriend to “ditch me” to be with her for the new years.

I spent New Years (and New Years Eve) with my boyfriend at my house. It was only the two of us, yet I’ve never had so much fun in my life. We had a little bit of alcohol and we talked and reminisced about our year together and our plans for 2019. We’ve been dating for 3 1/2 years but this is the first time we spent New Year’s alone (we normally spent it with my brothers / his sister as well).

It was very romantic and I couldn’t ask for more. We watched the ball drop on TV and he ended up drinking a lot. After making out for a bit + some heavy petting, he passed out and I soon went to sleep afterwards. I woke up before him but I figured I’d get him something for his hangover before he wakes up.

He left his cellphone on the kitchen counter but it was blowing up with text messages, which is a little strange because he only really gets texts from his sister.

I shouldn’t have snooped but I looked because I was curious. He gave me the password to his phone and stuff, and he gave me permission to look through his stuff but that doesn’t mean that I should.

They were all from this girl. Apparently they were texting last night as well (briefly) but I know who she is, and I don’t really like her much.

My boyfriend said that she’s an old friend from highschool. They never dated but apparently had a sort of “friends with benefits” relationship. He said that they drifted after they graduated but she recently started contacting him again.

I’ve met her once or twice, and I don’t personally know her but I don’t have a good impression of her. She’s extremely vulgar.

I’ve already told my boyfriend that I don’t like when he talks to her, because she gives me weird vibes. He limited his contact with her because I asked (she makes me uncomfortable), and they don’t talk much from what I know.

The texts started last night around six. She asked what he was doing, if he was busy. He said he was, she asked what he was doing and he said he was with me. She said okay and my boyfriend didn’t respond after that. Then a few hours later, she asked if he could “come over”. He told her that he wasn’t interested and that he was still at my place. She then spent a half an hour trying to convince him to “ditch me” and saying that he’d have more fun with her than with me.

My boyfriend told her no (multiple times) and then told her to stop asking him. She said okay and then apologized and then she talked about how she was wishing that things could “go back to the way things were before”. She then talked about stuff they did in highschool, as in that one New Years night where they stayed in her room and got drunk / high together and stuff. She said stuff about how “the sex was amazing and she wants to try again”. She said that she wishes that he didn’t have a girlfriend, and that she just wanted it to be the two of them again. I think at that point he stopped responding because she got upset that he was leaving her on read. The last thing he sent to her was “look, i’m really tired of this sh*t” and that was it.

The texts she was sending this morning were a bunch of apologies and excuses. She was saying that she didn’t mean any of it and that she was drunk and bored / lonely. She apologized for saying rude stuff about me and says that she “really likes me” and that she doesn’t know what came over her. She essentially begged him not to drop her again (?) ans that she was sorry and that it never was going to happen again.

She was still texting him while I was reading the texts from last night. She saw that the messages were being “read” and she said that she was happy, because she said that she was afraid that he blocked her “again”.

I just put his phone back down where I found it. He’s probably going to figure out eventually that I read his messages, but how do I bring it up to him ? He won’t get upset that I read them, but I feel like there’s something that was going on with this girl that I don’t know about (considering the fact that she said that he’s ghosted her before).

I don’t think he’s cheating, nor do I think that he’s cheated on me with this girl, but I feel like he’s hiding something from me / didn’t tell me something else in regards to his relationship / past relationship with this girl. I’m thinking that he didn’t tell me for a reason, but is it right for me to ask?

tl;dr: a former friend of my boyfriend’s essentially begged my boyfriend to ditch me and to come over to her house (apparently to sleep with her ??) and i never knew that she was like this. i don’t know how to approach the topic with him, also considering that he might be hungover.

Submitted January 01, 2019 at 10:07AM by throwaway103849284 http://bit.ly/2AnwYn2