My mom has been stealing money from me ever since I started working at 16. Most of the time it was a few hundred dollars at a time. For some context, my dad died when I was a kid and my mom, who does not have a college degree, has been working just-above-minimum-wage retail jobs while making a decade's worth of irresponsible financial decisions. She likes to blame some of these on me, like "12 year old child not wanting to move school districts is the reason we kept living in a house way above our means for way too long."
So, I'm in college. I'm trying to do a Bachelor's/Masters program and graduate next year with a Master's. I run a club, I work two jobs, I'm trying to apply to multiple summer programs, and take some really difficult classes this semester. I struggle with anxiety.
I did a semester abroad last fall, most of which was covered by financial aid. Student loans were directly dispersed into my bank account. One day, in early November, I checked my bank account to find that my mom had taken over 2,500 dollars of my student loan money from my bank account, without asking. I lost my shit. She'd come to visit me abroad but I didn't know she was going to make me pay for it. She had so many excuses and took zero responsibility. All she said was "I want to be able to provide for you. You deserve it"
That didn't ruin the semester for me, but as you can imagine, I was stressed. She ruined the fall of my sophomore year by not cooperating with financial aid when I was trying to appeal. She didn't respond to emails unless I begged her to check her inbox. I didn't pay my tuition until two days before the do not return deadline. I got a 3.8 that semester, but it wouldn't have mattered if I'd been forced to drop out because of her irresponsibility.
This semester she's already started again. Over 300 dollars already, and classes started last week. I really, really know that I need to set up a new bank account asap. I am totally aware of that but I feel kind of paralyzed? I am so afraid and I feel so guilty and apathetical about all of this. I'm afraid she's going to get angry at me or cut me off or shit talk me to my family and I don't have the emotional strength to deal with any of this right now.
I have some half siblings, who have different moms than I do. I reached out to two of them a bit ago. My one sister was supportive and helpful and told me I was right to be angry. My brother just told me to see it from my mom's perspective. That kinda broke me, because it was already really hard for me to reach out to him about it.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I feel really alone in this. I hate her. I'm fundamentally disappointed in my mom. I feel cheated out of decent parents. I feel angry at myself for feeling paralyzed and telling my friends/boyfriend about this and then continuing to let it happen to me. I don't even know what advice I'm looking for? Because I know I just need to separate my account from hers. She doesn't even pay my small tuition payments anymore (but I do need her to apply for my senior year financial aid). I am scared and angry and I want it to stop. I hate that she does this to me every fucking semester. I hate that she sees me as her retirement plan. I kind of want to run her name through the dirt sometimes.
I just don't know how to get over this paralysis.
Tldr; my mom steals from me and I need to start cutting her off but I am dealing with the stress of college and am feeling kinda stuck. Help?
Submitted January 28, 2019 at 08:03AM by stressedrichardnixon http://bit.ly/2FTyfGJ
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