I've been with my girlfriend for a little over three years now and we live together. I work full time and am a half time student. She works full time.
My girlfriend is the type of person who has to be out and about all of the time doing "something." This can be anything from going out hiking, traveling, shopping to super trivial things like loitering at the mall or Target or Wal-mart or whatever where ever. This past year, I noticed that whenever she is home, her presence just drains me. Half the time,I can feel this energy from her of how bored she is through her actions like blasting music or just self-pitying herself. The other half of the time, she complains to me about how bored she is, how there's nothing to do, how she has nobody to hang out with (which isn't true but she complains about it). She also gets super frustrated when her friends can't hang out with her and starts making rude remarks about them which itself just takes away from the mood.
Maybe I don't hangout with my girlfriend enough? But I take time every single day to spend time with her. The problem is, there are requirements that I have to meet to count as "spending time with her." If we get dinner together, the restaurant has to be at least a 20 minute drive away. If it's more of a weekend event thing, we have to be out for at least 3 hours. Watching movies at home doesn't count. Grocery shopping together doesn't count. Cooking (which I do 100% of the time) and eating dinner together doesn't count. If we do something together that we have done in the past, that doesn't count. So basically, the time I see as us spending time in her eyes doesn't mean anything and I am never spend time with her (I hear this all the time both explicitly or indirectly).
I've been telling her that she needs to make more friends who have similar interests as her. But instead, she downloaded like five different dating apps to "meet people." She doesn't actually go out and meet them, but rather just to match and maybe talk to a little bit. Anyways, I told her I didn't like this, but being as stubborn as she is, she tells me either I give her attention or basically "suck it." Additionally, as bad as it sounds, I honestly don't have the energy to care about her going on dating apps anymore. I'm just so drained all of the time to care or be jealous.
The majority of my free time after work goes to two main things: studying (which takes up the most of my time) and going to the gym which is about a total of 3-4 hours a week. I had to cut down on my gym time (which is a huge passion of mine) to spend time with her. Even when I go about 3-4 times a week, I have to listen to her mope about how alone and bored she will be before I go which is just super draining.
I just can't get anything done when it comes to my studying when she's home anymore. I'm so tired of her having to blast her music or tv shows when I am trying to do anything! I ask her nicely to put head phones on, but she's just so stubborn that she drops the music volume 1 click. Furthermore, I noticed that I just have this tenseness and discomfort whenever she's around now. I don't really know how to explain it, but I just can't seem to focus well on any of my school work.
I know school is just temporary, but the thought of having to live like this for the rest of my life or next two years while I take classes just makes me want to jump off a cliff. Like I don't think I can live like this as bad as it sounds. I am not excited to come home from work anymore because I know she will be at home.
Our lease ends in a few month and I am committed to just finishing off this lease and most likely breaking up with her. I also plan on delaying my graduation by taking the quarter off in which our lease ends. Basically, I've been thinking about ending it for awhile now.
However, in the time being is there anything I can do to better this situation? There are times where I remember why I fell in love with this girl, but as soon as that moment ends, I dread life again. I want to make things better, but the chances are extremely low because she is too stubborn.
tldr; my girlfriends physical presence drains my soul - is there a way to fix this or is breaking up the only option?
Submitted January 27, 2019 at 12:16AM by lifeless12619 http://bit.ly/2G5yeyL
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