Husband (27M) of 6 years living like a king while my children and I (26F) subsist on the bare essentials

He works and I’m a SAHM. I receive a government payment for the kids and myself due to him earning a lower amount. I was also paid extra after having both children (for baby essentials etc.). My payment I have to transfer immediately into his account “so he can manage all the bills” and I keep $60 per week. Because of this boost to his income he can afford to buy things for himself such as video games, expensive lego sets, brand name clothes/shoes/accessories etc. At the moment he’s starting to invest in gold. He spends almost $100 on takeaway each week despite the fact I cook good meals at home. Granted sometimes he will buy for me and the kids as well but a lot of the time he will go off to his parents house and eat it on his own. He will also get the kids toys every now and then so he looks like a doting father.

I have a couple of outfits that are in good enough condition to wear but they’re starting to fray and threads are coming off. I wear $10 shoes and I have no idea how I’m going to afford the textbooks I have to buy for uni. I had $1500 given to me by my grandfather which I saved for quite a while but he “borrowed” almost all of that and is yet to pay it back. I have $50 at the moment.

He keeps cutting from $20-$30 off our grocery budget to try and save extra money for himself. I shop once a fortnight and our budget is $200.

His parents give the kids money sometimes when they see them which he used to take as well but now usually I can convince him to put it in their piggy bank to buy their clothes. His parent give him money as well. They will give him $1000 every few months and he just blows it within the month.

The payment I received for the kids when they were born is the most shameful thing. He still gaslights me over this and swears to God it was his hard-earned money he spent on these things. When my daughter was born we got the payment along with some money from family. We had a few thousand. He brought a huge TV and spent the rest on himself. Okay, bad enough, yeah? When my son was born we got a payment again, along with money from family again. Had roughly the same amount of money and he spent it all on himself buying luxury WATCHES and PENS. Hardly any of that was spent on my kids, which is what it was intended for obviously. My daughter spent her baby years in the cheapest baby clothes that were literally falling apart at the seams sometimes on the first or second wash. My son had clothes of a little better quality but still not great and I had to nag him and nag him to buy new clothes whenever they went up a size. Most of those I actually had to buy myself.

I wanted to put my daughter into a pre-kindergarten tutoring program with her cousins and she had her name down. However my husband decided it was too expensive ($60 per week, which we CAN afford if he just gives up two takeaway meals a week - yes he eats a ton). So we had to take her name off the list.

I hit breaking point this morning. He decided after having pressure put on him by his sisters that my daughter can go for ONE day a week instead of two like her cousins will be doing. So I called up this morning to see if there’s any way I can still get her in this year. I was told this year’s classes are totally full and the waiting list for next year is also full. I am so upset because my daughter was and still is so excited to go. She keeps talking about going to school and getting a backpack. It’s breaking my heart. I can’t stop crying. I just feel like I’ve failed her so much by staying in this marriage. I don’t know what to tell her about her “school”.Even as a single mother I could provide them with so much more than this.

TLDR: husband is stingy with wife and kids but not himself.

Submitted January 28, 2019 at 03:06PM by Throwavay67 http://bit.ly/2Uq038L