My girlfriend (30f) and I (30m): she abandons me anytime I am sick, sad or need any help. She promised to change but nothing is happening. Red flag or am I asking too much?

We have been together for 3 years now. We live together at my place, she doesn't work but gets money from her family. However, I pay most of our expenses. I work full time. Cooking is divided 50:50 and I mostly do the cleaning.

I am only saying it to explain that she always has enough time, so it is not an issue here.

When there are no problems in our lives, everything is perfect and we have amazing time with lots of fun. However, whenever I have a problem, she just disappears.

Few examples: I recently had one of the worst days in my life. I am of a different race than my gf and the majority of people where we live. It is her homeland. I was working very hard and was supposed to get a promotion, in the end somebody else (a lot less qualified person) got it. One of my work friends heard some colleagues saying they were glad because 'all these dirty, dark people do n't belong to their community'. I am rarely sad because I have heard stuff like that many times but this really hurt me. I did nothing wrong and I was always putting a lot of effort to be nice to my colleagues and to work hard.

When I came home I was really sad. My gf was supportive the first day, however on the second she told me that my bad energy is annoying her. That she uderstands it is hard but I just have to accept it. She went to meet her friends and then stayed over at her parent's place until the next day, when she made sure I am not spreading negativity anymore.

Another example, I am usually very health but few months ago I got a terrible flu with a very high fever. No medications helped. My gf helped me also on the first day (I couldn't get out of the bed at all) but the other she said she needed some rest and went out, stayed over at her family's again and came only next day evening. During that night my fever was rising and rising and I ended up calling the hospital, when they heard they sent me doctors and took me to the hospital for a night because they suspected pneumonia. They also said it was good that I called and I only let me go the next day if somebody can stay with me, no way alone.

I called my gf out on her behaviour and she was crying, saying she was sorry and that she never had to deal with problems bc her family always did it for her so she doesn't know how. She promissed to change but there is nothing happening, she still vanishes at the sight of any problem but expects me to support her all the time. Should I give her more chances or there is no hope and I should break up?

Tl;dr: My girlfriend (30f) and I (30m): she abandons me anytime I am sick, sad or need any help. She promised to change but nothing is happening. Red flag or am I asking too much?

Submitted October 02, 2018 at 11:41AM by Reddituserxxx1 https://ift.tt/2IzADkz