I (21F) am considering moving out as I'm not enjoying living with my boyfriend (26M), lodgers (30+M) and his Dad (60+M). Boyfriend doesn't want to come with me, considering going alone.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and have been living together for 3 months now. At first it was fine, even now I still love falling asleep and waking up with him, cooking dinner together and spending time together, he's not the issue.

The issue is his dad and two lodgers. They're all extremely rude, loud and a million other things I can't put my finger on, or stand. I understand that I came into the house last, so my word is a lot less important than theirs, but I still pay my fair share of rent and don't think I'm getting what I'm paying for.

The house is constantly a mess. The front room, kitchen and two bathrooms are hideous. I am always cleaning up after everyone, putting the dishwasher on, making sure there's cutlery or glasses to drink out of and just tidying up after everyone else. My boyfriend helps out but only occasionally which I know is an additional problem, but at least he does stuff when I ask.

His dad, my first month there, 'forgot' the amount we both agreed I'd pay, put it up £20 a week, then told me it was a 5 week month and I was told I'd be paying monthly, meaning half way through the month I had to fork out an extra £100. He also always invites his current girlfriend around where they have massive arguments and keep us up till all hours.

One of the lodgers is constantly drunk, coming in and out of the house at all hours, and always eats the food that my boyfriend and I buy. I've started labelling stuff but it STILL doesn't stop him. I've said I will happily buy my own fridge freezer, but I know that still wouldn't work.

The last lodger apparently thinks I'm trying to drive him out, because I once moved his cheese grater. Don't get me wrong, I don't like any of them, but... What?! He's always talking to himself loudly, banging around in the kitchen, leaves his used cooking utensils everywhere and then complains that it's never clean.

I think I've come into the house and now they view me as some sort of maid or mum figure, expecting me to clean up after them. Either that, or it's just what they're used to, and they're not changing any time soon.

So, I've spoken to my boyfriend about it a few times and, whilst he agrees it's not 'ideal', he doesn't know what else to suggest. I've floated the idea of moving out to our own place before, but he's always said he's happy where he is, so I've dropped it. My last straw was this weekend, when I found out about one lodger thinking I'm driving him out, and my boyfriend's dad saying 'well the lodgers pay more rent than you so I care more about them'. Charming.

Again, boyfriend has said to ignore this, no thanks.

Therefore, I've been looking at flats that I could afford by myself and have found the perfect one, in my price range, near my work, furnished, the full package. I've told my boyfriend about it and he's still saying he'd prefer to stay at home but he doesn't want me to move out.

I'm having a proper chat with him this evening, but am I crazy for wanting to move out, whether it's with or without him?

I don't want to break up, at all, but I think that they're all so stuck in their ways that nothing is ever going to change, and I'm constantly going to be stressed out, unhappy, and not feeling 'at home'.

Is this something that's normal? I feel like we're just moving backwards?

Last note, I actually moved out of my family home to move in with him, and told him how big of a deal it was for me. He's never moved out of his home, even when he was in a 5 year relationship previously, so I'm a bit heartbroken that this has been such a big deal to me and I'm already wanting to leave.

Can you guys give me some advice? Let me know how to get the point across? What things I can say to him tonight? Thanks!

TL:DR uncomfortable living with boyfriend and his 2 lodgers and dad. Not feeling at home, becoming a maid. Want to move out with boyfriend, he's said no, should i go alone? Or just stay?

Submitted October 01, 2018 at 08:29AM by ArcticCharcoal https://ift.tt/2Rerlyd