Friends [20s/F] & family [30s-60s M&F] won’t stop making jokes about my “foreign” BF [28/M] and “accidental” pregnancy.

I am from the southern US and currently returned there after having lived in England and Canada for 6 years. While in Canada I met “Tom” and what was supposed to be a short stop in Canada became a year-long. I eventually returned to the US and we did the LDR thing. Tom was able to secure really high paying work in the U.S. and obtained a working visa to join me. Tom is (currently) the sole breadwinner as I left work. We would travel to see each other and Tom and I sort of tried a birth control method that certain didn’t “control” it and I’m 7 months pregnant. My parents ***love*** Tom – he’s the Canadian son they never had and the total opposite of my BIL. My family think Tom is just the cat’s pajamas. I was worried getting a visa to live/work in the U.S. would be hard but it really wasn’t – which was incredibly surprising. He’s applied for a new visa and it looks like we’ll have a lot of stability coming over the next couple of months. I couldn’t be happier. I was never very fortunate in the romance department and all of a sudden, years of crappy dates and failed relationships have given rise to this. So excited.

Except, my friends, sisters, BIL and some aunts and uncles think that it’s high comedy to joke about our relationship, particularly when Tom isn’t there. It’s about how he got me pregnant to get a visa and that the baby is “an anchor baby” and that he’s using me to get citizenship and that he’s “just another foreigner” coming in through informal channels. I’ve told them repeatedly that it’s not true and they know he didn’t use me to get a visa – he got one for his employment. My family is partly Hispanic and a few relatives are upset that him getting a visa and settling in the U.S. was more of a formality than anything else and think he somehow “gamed” the system. It really hurts because I finally found someone that loves me, that cares for me and doesn’t, you know, punch me in the eye.

This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life. We’ve been talking about getting engaged and our future. We’re talking about our child and raising a family and all kinds of really amazing things; yet, my relatives are either cold and annoyed or can’t stop joking about how our child is an anchor baby for a guy just after citizenship. I’m so fed up that I have told my mother & sister not to have a baby shower for me as I don’t want to see anyone. This has made relatives think I’m “too good” for everyone. I can’t f-ing win.

I don’t know what to say to family and friends anymore and they’re turning this into an absolute nightmare.

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tl;dr family ruining pregnancy with nasty comments and "jokes" about my relationship. I can't seem to win with them and am at my breaking point. I need help handling their nasty comments and stupid beliefs.

Submitted October 02, 2018 at 07:29AM by uggghhhthrowaway https://ift.tt/2ICY8tb