I’m 23F he’s 23M. Been seeing him a couple months now and he’s a great guy!! He’s real funny and I like him a lot. He just does this really weird thing when we’re kissing/ making out.
Literally every 5-10 seconds when we are kissing he will stop, take a break and look down for a few seconds and hang his head, then start kissing me again. I thought the first few times he did it that he was just nervous and needed to take a breath or something, but this has been an ongoing thing. I’ve tried to gently redirect him, tell him “I prefer to be kissed this way” or alluding to breathing through the nose, but it never takes. Once when he did it I took my finger and gently pulled up his chin, and he fought against my finger and hung his head there!! (Edit to add: after this pushback I did NOT attempt to move his chin up further!! Didn’t want to force him to do anything he was uncomfortable with)
Maybe I’m being unfair, maybe that’s how he likes to kiss. But I’ve even tried asking him to show me how he likes to be kissed but he says I’m a good kisser?? He’s had girlfriends and has done hookups and stuff before, so I know I’m by no means the first girl he’s ever kissed! All my attempts at showing him how I like to be kissed have failed. Is it time for me to bring it up in conversation? If so… how does one bring that up in conversation without hurting any feelings?? Advice would be appreciated thank you everyone!
Tl;dr: how to politely request someone do something different when you’re making out when you’ve tried redirecting them/ showing them countless times and it doesn’t take?
Thanks everyone!
Edit for grammar
Update: ooookaaayyy it did not go as I hoped!! He did not stay over as planned, he was definitely miffed with me because I chose to bring it up and have a conversation. One commenter said it was a low-stakes thing to discuss and they were right, I have no regrets about bringing it up.
I did try my best to gently say, “So there’s something I want to talk about. There’s something I’ve noticed you do when you’re kissing me, you take little breaks and I was wondering why that is. I’d there something I should be doing differently, how can I make you more comfortable, etc etc”
Well, he kind of just….. denied that he does this thing at all!! I was totally lost for words, he straight up responded “I don’t do that”. Maybe it was the way I phrased things?? I don’t know. But I tried to tell him he does do that—take breaks while kissing to look down—and he completely denied that he does that. He told me to show him exactly what it is he does, so I kissed him, and he… didn’t do it lol. He sat there like a rock, barely kissing me back, not really moving or touching me. Even the kiss was quite stiff. I felt uncomfortable acting it out/ demonstrating his behavior back to him when he asked me to because he was clearly annoyed with me.
He stuck out the evening but ended up going home for the night, which was really, really disappointing! He is generally very kind and I’ve never seen him annoyed/ in a bad mood before, this was very strange. I really couldn’t believe it when he straight up denied this behavior!!!! Because we’ve been making out for months and he does it every. Single. Time we kiss!!!!!! I think he knows it’s something he does because he sat there and kissed me so stiffly when I asked him about it and didn’t do the Thing.
Thanks everyone for the advice, I’m sorry about the rather negative update. I’m disappointed in his reaction to me bringing up this fairly small thing and a little icked out that he denied doing it altogether. Not sure how he thought that was going to go down—I mean, it’s not like I made it up out of thin air. It’s a little ridiculous to claim you haven’t been doing this thing that I JUST said I’ve noticed you doing.
Not really sure what to do from here, unfortunately, as this is now a bigger issue than the kissing behavior ever was for me! :/
Submitted April 03, 2023 at 03:01PM by sesamedrive https://ift.tt/rSIAghP
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