The other day I was helping my parter (47M) to find something he'd misplaced and he asked me to look through a set of drawers. In doing so I found a pro/ con list he had written about me. I didn't stop to read it as I didn't want to intrude on his privacy. However, I did see a glimpse of some of the cons. We have been together several years now and the first year we broke up a number of times because he wasn't sure. He kept saying it was due to lack of a spark. This was mentioned on that list so I am guessing (hoping) that it was written during that period.
As I say I only saw a glimpse but two things are bothering me. One was that a con he had listed was about my future figure/ shape. He knows that my mother gained a lot weight in her 40s and I've confided in him I'm worried the same will happen to me. I never thought sharing that concern would be something that would be listed against me. I'm not overwieght at all right now and am relatively active. He had also listed that he can't open up to me like he has been able to with other partners. I have tried to start deep conversations but am usually hit by short, one word responses. He's never talked about any of these issues with me. I thought that he was just the kind of person that can't open up but seeing this has made me rethink that.
We are in a good place now. We're hoping to move in together in the next few months. I would be giving up a lot to do this- selling my place, moving away from friends/ family, changing jobs etc. This list has really stuck in my mind and made me anxious. If it's a few years old I don't know why he kept it. I'm not sure that I should raise it with him as it is clearly private. I'm sure there were good things on the pro side that I didn't see.
TL/DR: Accidentally saw part of a pro/ con list my partner has written about me and not sure if I should being this up with him.
Submitted April 20, 2023 at 03:53AM by Loud_Antelope8809 https://ift.tt/jZWz43v
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