My “best friend” and I have been best friends since we were 9. Now in our early 20’s.
We’ll call her Ava.
Last year, I was dating someone that lived close to Ava. When I’d hang out with my then-bf (we’ll call him Leo), Ava would want to hang out with us, too. So him & I would hang out at her house. She’d invite him over since I was l sleeping over at hers anyways. My family also came over to stay with me since our families are friends.
My mom & my brother came to me one day at her house in private saying that they thought Ava was flirting with Leo. Saying “You have a really nice skin tone, I really like your hat, your hands are HUGE compared to mine!!” & similar. The typical pick-me sounding lines. I would also notice that every time he comes around, she only directs her attention to him. She’d barely talk to me. She’d pick on him in flirtatious ways, etc. It made both me & my family feel weird. I tried to brush it off, but the fact that she would ignore me/cold shoulder me when he was around made me feel like I was the one who was “third-wheeling”. She would invite him to hang out with us, so it’s not like she didn’t want him there either.
I pulled her aside that night & nicely asked if she didn’t realize she was doing these things, & that I thought it’s giving the wrong idea to him as well as some other people that have noticed. I asked her what she thought of it. She got defensive saying “he’s all yours”, & “since he’s your boyfriend I want him to be my friend”. Mind you, she also wanted me to give her Leo’s number at one point so she could start talking to him and “send him snaps and get to know him more”. I thought that was weird since I have never even thought or cared to ask Ava for her bf’s numbers/snaps. Those things are her business.
The next day, my family & I were going back home. Leo was coming with us. He met us at Ava’s so we could all leave in a group together. When he arrived, Ava & I were in the kitchen. After a few minutes, I motioned to Ava to run upstairs with me so that she could help me finish packing like she said she would. She told me that she doesn’t want to & wanted to stay in the kitchen with Leo. I said that’s fine. When I came back downstairs, she started flirting in the exact ways I had mentioned last night when I pulled her aside. She was complimenting him, asking him where he got some clothes of his because she likes them, other things I won’t mention. Doing this right in front of me. My mom tried to redirect the conversation, but Ava kept changing it back. I’d also try to talk, but Ava wouldn’t talk to me & only talked to Leo.
She tells me the next day that she made sure to flirt with him before we left because she was offended that people thought she was flirting with him in the first place. I thought this was a really rude thing to do. I lost all of my respect for her. I wasn’t even accusing her when I talked to her about it, I just brought up my concerns.
She did this in the past with another crush of mine. Once she found out that I liked him, she would purposefully sit next to him at the other side of the room instead of with me, lean on him/grab his knee & laugh when someone said something funny, compliment his clothes, be extra chatty around him, etc. It looked like she was trying to get them to like her instead of me by just making sure she’s next to them/around them more than I am. It sounds like something out of middle school. I feel like I was way too mature for her & just cut her off.
She now complains to me that she has no friends left & is mad that I ignored her for months after I left her house. I told her that what she did to me was uncalled for & I would prefer if she directed her toxicity elsewhere.
She’s been trying to actively weed her way back into my life by liking my TikTok’s (I have a semi-successful account) and commenting on them which she has never done for years. She’s also texting me about random things when we haven’t talked in forever. How should I approach her? Should I respond? How do I get her off of my case? I just wanted to get this off of my chest because I personally feel like I made the right decision, but she remains offended because I won’t talk to her at all.
TL;DR! - My “best friend” made efforts to flirt with my then-boyfriend on purpose & ignored me the entire time. I cut her off because of her behavior and now she’s trying to weed her way back into my life because she has no friends left. Any advice on how I should handle her?
Submitted April 29, 2023 at 01:33AM by Eastern_Leg_6085 https://ift.tt/1nJwlxy
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