My (M20) ex girlfriend of a year (F28) is spreading lies and rumors months after breakup. I still have feelings and feel stuck. What should I do?

So I (M20) met my girlfriend (F28) at a job when I was 19. We really hit it off, had a lot in common, and had fun together so eventually we started dating. She wanted me to propose two months in and I did (I was 19 and dumb). In a couple months things took a turn and became toxic, I started noticing that I was apologizing for things I never did or said. I always got a passive-aggressive comment every time I did something. She pressured me to do drugs (like her) and drink in my lowest moments with mental health. Her mental health really started to affect me. She didn't visit me in the mental hospital when I couldn't take her abuse. I got mentally better and was berated for "changing", I took over a failed business from my Dad and she said "wow you just get handed a business, you're the lucky one". She has always had issues with depression/anxiety/ptsd and I always casually brought up therapy, but she never wanted to try it. When I would bring up concerns, or when I would bring up something she did that hurt me she would say "stop pointing out my shortcomings, I just want to be loved". I couldn't be honest about anything, I could never disagree with her, so I shut down and was berated for doing so, no winning. We ended up moving in together around the 6 month mark I naively thought it would get better.

So that puts it into perspective of the type of person she is. I couldn't take it anymore so I got two roommate release papers and gave her a choice, release yourself or myself. A month after that breakup, she contacted me multiple times when I had blocked her, I responded and we got back together for a couple months again. We broke up for the last time around 2 months ago and since then, she is posting on social media about me, spreading lies and telling people I was doing the stuff she did to me. I feel so hurt, traumatized, in pain. Since breaking up two of her ex's reached out to me offering support, turns out I'm one of many people she's done this to.

TLDR: I was in a toxic relationship. I still love her so much even though its impossible to be with her, why did she do what she did and why is she doing what shes doing, what can I do? Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Submitted April 15, 2023 at 09:02PM by Garrett_Banndx5 https://ift.tt/ygCNEl2