My partner seems to get frustrated and annoyed whenever I have a dad day... they are curveballs I really can't help it. I don't believe in projection and I consider myself quite considerate with others emotions as I am very sensitive deep down and try to be the best person I can be and be good to others (I am not pompous or self-righteous by any means). My loved ones just mean a lot to me. I was best friends with my dad and he died 18 months ago and it is hard to not have moments of weakness especially when so many curveballs remind me of him or just the flashback of watching him die and he still told me he loved me :(
My mum had a stroke 6 months ago and I am also extremely close with her and she has aneurysms that could burst at anytime. Then last month my fur baby (dog) passed away and it completely broke my heart. When she was dying I was holding her and my partner went weird and quiet so I asked if he was okay too cos it is traumatic for anyone to see a sweet, loving dog dying. But he yelled and said "I can't do this too much bad shit keeps happening to you and it's too much for me! Your mum might have a stroke soon and die and I have to clean up the pieces"
Idk why but I apologised for all the trauma that's been happening lately and I try my very best to protect him from it and maintain our little escapist bubble in our room.
A song the other day came on and it had lyrics that made me bawl because it was word for word my relationship with my father. I showed my partner and he rolled his eyes and said "don't know how that is relatable" and then I was kind of offended and said I dont mean to spread my misery and I am okay I just have a lot of dad days and they will never go away because ya know it is my dad. His response was "but it's always about that. It's the same bullshit drama just a different day"
I love him but I am feeling like I have rose coloured glasses on and I might be missing something because I focus so much on the good that I can forget the bad. I started noticing I am scared to be sad or have a down day around him and it's kind of making it quite difficult for me as we live together.
TLDR; Partner scolds me as overdramatic and overly sensitive whenever I have a bad day or just simply miss my dad. I am concerned about my future because I am very idealistic in relationships and can only see the best.
EDIT: I tried to tell him one day that I communicate my feelings because I know what it's like to be constantly guessing your partners feelings and thoughts and can cause insecurity. I told him my mum says I need to just play hard to get and he said I do?
Submitted April 15, 2023 at 05:05AM by SeaDemand8413 https://ift.tt/tkqhrOu
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