My (31F) super close friend (40F) crossed my boundary and I am worried our friendship is about to blow up

I am worried I am about to lose an extremely close friend and am hoping for some objective perspective. When I was 20, I met my friend I'll call Marie for the first time when we both lived in the same city abroad. We instantly connected and for two+ years we were BFFs, speaking everyday and meeting multiple times a week.

I moved back to the U.S. and we continued to keep in touch daily. She moved back to the U.S. too but not near me. Again, daily phone calls and texts, super close. Then, a few years into this friendship, Marie just withdrew and did not communicate with me and I never understood why. It was absolutely heartbreaking, and to be honest, it felt like a breakup. I felt like I lost a part of myself.

A few years later (when I was in my mid-twenties) she reached out to me wanting to reconnect after she'd recently gone through a breakup. We were living in different states. I was skeptical at first, but over the course of a few months we became long-distance friends who texted and spoke on the phone daily. Then Marie pulled away again! This time, I'd had it and just decided I'd made a mistake by giving her a second chance.

Last year, I was in a much more stable place in my life. I was thinking about this friendship I'd had with Marie in my early twenties and realized I'd never since had a friendship quite like the one we had. I was curious about what had happened between us. So I reached out and it turns out that she'd moved to the same city as me and that she wanted to reestablish our friendship too. We only touched lightly on the past, and I didn't want to dwell on it.

It's been 10 months since we've been friends again, and our friendship has kicked back into full gear. Speaking texting multiple times a day, speaking almost every day and hanging out often too. We talk about and tell each other about everything in our lives. The intensity is hard to explain. I would not say I am lonely... I am in a serious relationship and live with my BF (38M) but somehow we really get each other and are able to have conversations I can't quite have with other people.

Marie has asked me to do something that I find completely unethical and a complete violation of my boundaries. I am angry that she would ask me to compromise myself for something that I think is a fraud. The way she asked me to do it was completely manipulative (she was not direct with me about what it was she was asking of me). Since she asked this we haven't spoken for a week which is completely atypical.

I plan to address my thoughts with Marie, but I am terrified that doing so is going to blow up our friendship. On the other hand, I'm not sure I can or want to be friends with someone who would try to manipulate me in the way she did. I just want some advice about how to address my feelings with my friend and also if I should try to mend this friendship or understand that the trust has been irreparably broken.

tl;dr: My (31F) super close friend (40F) crossed my boundary and I am worried our friendship is about to blow up

Submitted April 23, 2023 at 08:25AM by NYCG1r1_777 https://ift.tt/sAO1WYh