What’s the line between “I should communicate my needs” and “my partner/friends should intuitively (out of romantic/friend-like instinct) just *know* what to do?

Hey Reddit. For context, I’m (23F) very sick at the moment. My bf (25M) (been dating for 6 months) and friends (23F, both of them) (one I’ve known for 5 years, the other, 4 months) all know that I’m sick, and my bf specifically knows that I get a fever at night, chills and a headache.

I had this discussion with my bf a while ago about our needs. He’s very much: communicate everything. If you want something, tell me. I can’t read your mind and I’ll never be able to. Express your wants and needs. For the most part, I agree with him, but I also can’t help but believe that there’s this sort of intuitiveness that comes with loving someone and being with them. Like… “do you need anything?” after I express that I’m feeling unwell. Even just a: “how can I help you during this time?” I’m just now taking in that I don’t ever hear that from my people and it’s making me feel terrible, actually.

Like… when my bf was sick months ago (and he had to work), I transitted to his job and dropped off a care package for him. For no other reason than just… knowing he was sick and taking action, out of love.

I tell my friends I’m sick today, and all I get in response is “oh nooo, feel better soon!!”

Like… I guess what I’m trying to say here (as someone with trauma who often struggles to ask for help) is like… do I actually have to express every single want and need? Do I actually have to go out of my way and ask my bf if he can drop off food or flu remedies? Do I tell my friends that I don’t wanna talk about vacation right now because I might have mono and I’ll be out of work (most likely) for a month?

TL;DR: Where do I draw the line? I know that closed mouths don’t get fed but like why am I feeling as though my people don’t really care about me?

Submitted December 18, 2022 at 08:18PM by ofearth444 https://ift.tt/Xnm8iQZ