Hey guys. I don't even know if this counts as a "relationship" and this kind of feels like a silly thing to even ask for advice for, but I just need to make sure. This is a long story, so the main point is at the paragraph starting "So here's the tricky part..."
I met this guy a few months back, maybe August, through Tinder. I'm in university and share an apartment with two other girls. He got out of the army, now works fulltime, and living with his parents in the meantime and paying his portion of bills. We were talking and getting to know each other until maybe 2 weeks later, he asked if I could come over, in which I did. These turned into hookups after he told me his address and invited me over. I came to his place 3 times in total in a span of 2-ish months, I believe. To be honest, I didn't even think it would continue after the first hookup as I thought it would just be over and done with, and we would go our seperate ways. No strings attached kind of thing.
But instead, he would booty call me between 2am and 4am on some random nights while I was sleeping (I knew about this because I missed multiple calls). He would text me and beg me to send him my address to come over to my place just to "hang out and nothing else" (whatever that means).
I never sent him my address nor do I even want to. I have nothing but lust for him, yet I don't trust him enough. You might be thinking Why did you go to his place if you don't trust him? and the reason being is that I knew what I was getting myself into, and that I was fully equipped to protect myself and that I told my whereabouts to my close friends. I even made sure to enable this app my family shares together to track my movements/trips.
So here's the tricky part -- I told this guy we should either call or hangout somewhere at my campus instead of coming over to my place so late at night. He asked why and I just told him I'm more comfortable if we just waited a bit on that. But my true reasons were that I don't know if he would just come up to my place at 3am if I don't answer his booty calls. I have no idea what this guy is capable of. When I come over to his place when he asks me to, I know what I am doing and taking safety precautions. But I can't help but feel powerless in my own apartment. My gut is telling me to not let him know my address because I know this is the apartment I'm staying at for awhile, and he doesn't seem motivated enough to move out of his parents' place. So once he knows my address, he will know where I and my roommates will reside for a long time. My family and my best friends are 2 hours away from my campus. I resist telling him my address and even told him that I just don't trust him enough to let him in my apartment. He would then say stuff like "you're overthinking", "you worry too much", "you don't want to see me anymore? :( "
Those comments end up making me feel as if I am no fun and that l feel bad for being anxious all the time. I suffer from major anxiety since I was a child, so I know where this overthinking stems from. But am I really overthinking in this situation like he said? Am I being too pessimistic and thinking of the worst possible situation? Or are my thoughts and worries justifiable?
Thank you all for reading and providing any advice <3
TL;DR - Tinder match thinks I'm overthinking for not letting him know where I live due to some trust issues and me thinking of the worst case scenarios if he's over at my apartment, even though I've already hooked up with him at his place a few times.
Submitted December 17, 2022 at 01:50AM by Responsible_Wafer208 https://ift.tt/bz4LYfX
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