My husband (m/41) and I (f/30) have been married for a year. It started of with arguments. Usually him accusing me of stuff and me justifying myself proving my innocence.
Then it got to point where he start swearing and name calling. “Wh*re” “unkempt” “bipolar” “hobo” “compulsive liar”.
One time he began to throw my belongings on the floor and telling me to “f*ck off”. Telling me it is his home (which it is tbh as he paid for it). I start gathering my things to leave. As I’m about to leave, he blocks me. And prevents me from leaving despite him telling me to “f off out his house”. As I put my hand on the door handle he grabbed my wrist really hard and flung my hand away from the door. Then he pushed be onto the sofa. I kept getting up to leave. I did tell him I wasn’t scared of him. He kept pushing me. Then he began to restrain me, pinning me down onto the sofa. Even in all this, I never put my hands on him to hurt him.
He then goes I’m so sorry but you made me do it. I did say there’s no point apologising if he’s blaming me for it. I did say he put his hands on me and he took it too far and I want a divorce. He just apologised for over an hour. Eventually (stupidly) I forgave him and told him not to do it again. The next day I noticed I had bruises on my arm but I didn’t tell him as I didn’t want him to feel bad.
Then another argument ensured some time after and he began with the name calling. Then another argument after that. I told him he always takes it far and I was angry and said “you going to put your hands on me again”.
He told me I deserved it last time because I’m too mouthy. I told him that’s an excuse because a) at times I have stayed silent and he still carries on shouting at me b) the times when I do answer back, is me justifying myself on the accusations he’s making against me.
One time I did get angry after hours of arguing and called him “lame”. He bought this up again and said you called me “lame” and that was cut throat. He began to say a woman hits with her mouth and that’s why he put his hands on me. I told him that makes no sense because he verbally attacks me all the time despite which I still don’t put my hands on him or even swear.
Shortly after, he began an argument with me again. I stayed quiet. Then few days later he did it again. This time it was about me wearing makeup (mascara , foundation and eyeliner) he said it was OTT and that I was trying to impress someone. Again, I stayed quiet. He sent me abusive text messages. Again, I didn’t react. When I came home, I spoke to him normal and cooked him food etc.
Then two days ago he wanted to argue again. I wasn’t having it. He hit my wrist as I tried to leave with his hand. He also dragged me and pushed me on to the bed. Then he later dragged me off the bed where I hit my head on the floor. At this point I screamed due to the pain. He goes “good” and told me I deserved it. And he poked his finger on the side of my mouth telling me your mouth is what gets you in trouble.
I told him I wasn’t scared of him and it’s a shame what he has become. I called him a wife beater. He goes to me he isn’t one and that “you don’t even know what a real wife beater is, you just love playing victim”
He keeps telling me because he hasn’t punched or kicked me, I am not being hit. He doesn’t see his pushing, dragging and flinging away my hand away from the door as physical abuse. I’m now beginning to doubt by own sanity . Is it assault or not?
Tldr: husband pushes me, drags me but claims he isn’t physically abusive because he hasn’t punched or kicked me
Submitted December 17, 2022 at 02:50AM by hatter2406 https://ift.tt/SHaq5YX
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