Hello everyone,
My (31M) girlfriend’s (26F) dad (55M) is dead beat and homeless. He was previously living in a shared apartment with his coworkers, but just lost his job recently. Since he does not have a work permit in the states, so it is pretty difficult to find a job and/or an apartment. He just moved in with us temporarily in our apartment which is a loft style 1 bedroom. It’s pretty small. We’ve been dating for 2 years now, and live together now.
Her dad lived with us last year for about 2 months for the same reason, and I hated every moment of it.
I work full time from home, and my girlfriend also works full time at a local salon. We make enough to support ourselves and our dog.
Any advice given the situation and the personality traits below?
Myself: I am a hard working introvert. I work a 9-5 and I try to spend my spare time to develop my personal work, creative endeavors, small online business, writing etc. I am low in compassion, and believe each person should be responsible for their own fate. My relationship with my parents and my siblings are good. I love my girlfriend, would love to spend my life with her and be there for her. I don’t have many friends.
Girlfriend: She is a sweet girl with a kind heart. She’s not really the type that wants success. She wants happiness and comfort. She works full time at a nail salon. Her mom does not talk to her, and their relationship is estranged. All she has is a few friends and me, also her dad. It seems she loves me, and wants to see a future with me. She lived most her life with her auntie and her relatives back in our home country till she was 17. Since she is the more compassionate one, she wants to help her dad out and situate him as best as we could.
Her dad: He is a soft spoken, nice guy, and wants to help out here and there if he can. He has a gambling addiction problem which I think is why he’s a deadbeat at this age right now. The dude just never seemed to have taken any responsibility in his life to my eyes. He left my girlfriend when she was 5 years old to work abroad and was never there for her. Now that we live in the same country, he is closeby to us. He lived in a different state till last year.
I just don’t know how to handle this situation. What I would like is to have him get away from us since I feel as though he shouldn’t be near my girlfriend nor myself since he left her as a child and did not fulfill his duty as a father. I also want to focus more on my life’s work without worrying about him. I also feel it is unfair for me to take care of someone such as him while I have goals of my own and my own family (siblings 21F and 11F) to focus on and be there for them although my parents are currently capable yet aging.
My options are:
Suck it up and work something out for the poor man. Help the guy out. This option is near impossible and would put my own pursuit of happiness at risk. Breakup with my girl, and be on with my life. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t have to deal with this, and I can do better. Persuade my girlfriend to have her dad move back to the state he once lived till he moved here last year. I can persuade her with reasons of him leaving her as a young child. I just don’t feel like it is up to me to make that decision.
I would greatly appreciate your opinions on this one, fellow humans.
Thank you,
Yours truly
TL;DR: My SO’s homeless dad just moved in with us and I need help.
Submitted December 16, 2022 at 09:37PM by One_Faithlessness687 https://ift.tt/eFBnJX4
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