Hey everyone! My (30F) partner’s (33F we’re both women) family lives on a beautiful (expensive) island. She really wanted to be here for Christmas this year, so I saved all of my vacation time and saved up money all year to come.
When we got here, after 20 hours of being awake for travel, all I wanted to do was shower and go to sleep. But she did a few (I thought inconsiderate) things that kept us up for another few hours. I kept thinking if I don’t go to sleep I’m going to get sick, and so finally I voiced my concern to her and she was immediately defensive, we got in a huge whisper-screaming fight, and I started to cry. I didn’t sleep that night and my sinuses never went back to normal after crying, I just kept feeling worse and worse, and 3 days into our trip I tested positive for COVID.
Part of the reason I didn’t sleep was because her parents were wake until 2:30am making noise in the house (which is about the time my internal clock wakes up for work due to time change) and are up again at 7am every day.
I immediately went into quarantine, I’ve been isolated in this room- barely anyone texts me or checks on me, and I’ve been relying on them to bring me food and water. I know they’re busy having their Christmas together so I’ve been trying not to bother them as much as possible but there’s also been very little communication so I never know when meals are coming or if I should order food etc. I spent my Christmas completely alone and no one barely tried to talk to me until dinner time. I did have a nice dinner outside with just my fiancé, distanced, and her mom got me gifts and I watched some of them open gifts through the window. They have been very graciously feeding me delicious food, and going out of their way to get me medicine but it has really highlighted an issue with my relationship which is that I am often asking for what I need and then am given something totally different and it’s implied that I’m ungrateful when I reiterate. For instance, I’ll ask for water (I’m not able to go into the house) and my partner will take my water bottle for an hour while I’m having coughing fits, etc. Or at 9am I’ll ask for coffee and by 11 I still don’t have coffee and now have a splitting headache. The only other thing I’ve asked for was if my partner could throw in my laundry which she never did (no biggy I’ve been wearing dirty clothes but it’s not like I’m going anywhere so I haven’t asked again.) I feel bad they’re doing so much work so I’ve been really careful not to ask for much. I also feel very bad I’ve exposed them to COVID and am worried they might get sick. I’ve been extremely careful since finding out.
On the third night of not being able to sleep due to noise in the house, I texted my partner a “your parents don’t seem to ever sleep” text. I admit I shouldn’t have said anything but I was severely sleep deprived, in pain, sick, and really just worried I was going to keep getting sicker.
My partner told her mother I said that.
Then, her parents finally leave the house and I think now maybe she’ll want to talk to me from a distance since I have barely spoken to anyone in days but she didn’t. So I texted her to ask and she just said she was eating and went off about how rude I’ve been and said the words “you’ve been demanding we be quiet in our own house”.
I never did that. And I just wanted one night of quiet so I could survive.
I’m feeling so hurt and angry. I know it’s just very bad circumstances but it would be so much better if my partner was kinder. I even looked for a hotel room but the cheapest would be about $2k for the rest of the nights.
Any advice/words of inspiration to get me through this?
Tl/dr: got COVID, isolating at partner’s family’s house and it’s been hard. Partner thinks I’m demanding but I’ve been so careful not to ask for much.
Submitted December 26, 2022 at 11:09PM by Houseofrad https://ift.tt/DGXpnht
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