Looking for advice on how I (F31) should phrase my concerns during a work confrontation with another coworker (M40) I’ve known for about a year.

I’m going to keep this really vague because I’m positive the other person is on Reddit.

I’ve been at my job for about a year and am generally really happy with my work. My colleague and I have known each other for that entire time.

I have a colleague, F. F is very confrontational in, like, a sarcastic way. He’s constantly “jokingly” dissing other team members, but gets very upset if anyone does it to him. Twice now I’ve had to have a serious discussion where I use a more serious tone. I wasn’t rude, didn’t use harsh language or sarcasm. I just used a more serious tone (I’m normally very happy). Both times he got very emotional. The last time it really exploded, and now I have to having a meeting with him and my manager on Tuesday to discuss how we can work together better.

I’ve already been told that the expectation for the meeting (from my boss) isn’t confrontational, but more of a “what can we both do” sort of thing.

But the thing is…I don’t think that’s fair. I should be allowed to use a serious tone if I’m not being mean or unprofessional. I shouldn’t have to cater to F’s emotional outbursts. I don’t get why I’m not allowed to address something seriously when F gets to critique and make jokes on people all of the time.

I want to say all of this, but in a professional, concise manner. I don’t want to get emotional. I just want to say it matter of factly.

Is love some advice on how to phrase my concerns, please.

TL;DR: a male coworker can’t accept me using a serious tone and has emotional outbursts when I do. My manager is staging a conversation between us next week, and I need to know how to phrase my thoughts.

Thank you!

Submitted December 25, 2022 at 07:57PM by cagetheblackbird https://ift.tt/3GTrI9J