TL;DR My anti-jewelry fiance gave me a ring that is almost the exact opposite of what I wanted and cost less than his new computer desk after talking about how he was saving for it for a long time. How do I tell him I am disappointed in the ring and would like to change it? Or am I just being snobby?
It's been a couple weeks now since my fiance proposed, which I am ecstatic about. It was a long time coming, we've been together 4 years. There's some background to the proposal I think is relevant. We've been talking about marriage since our first anniversary and I was getting upset after several years that it wasn't happening. First, and most relevant, he said that he was saving money for a ring and that was why he hadn't proposed yet. Later, he added in that he wanted me to quit smoking before he would propose, but that reason alternated with the money for a ring reason. I was really feeling like he was just making excuses and so was trying to come to terms with the possibility we would just never get married. At Christmas I lost it and broke down in tears because I felt like it would never happen, at which time he told me he had already bought a ring and it was on it's way. I was totally thrilled.
The ring came and he... handed me the package it was in. I opened the mailer myself and took the ring out and put it on. He said since I knew it was coming he would forgo the "ceremony" of it all. Not gonna lie, I'm disappointed about that. I don't need a huge display but I really would have liked him to say the words "will you marry me" and put the ring on my finger. But the past is past.
The thing is that I'm unhappy with the ring. I actually love it, and for any other occasion I would be thrilled with the ring. But it's just not... an engagement ring. We had talked about what kind of ring I would want, so it wasn't a mystery. I wanted a certain color of gold, and it's a different one. I wanted a certain stone, that's not it. I wanted a couple of different stone shapes, and it's the one that I specified I would never want. On top of all that, it is inexpensive. He spent more on his new computer desk than my ring. All those times he said he was saving for a ring are just... a lie. We both make very decent money and he had some debt to pay but is in a really good spot financially, just like I am. The ring isn't necessarily cheap looking but combine all the factors and I am just disappointed.
On top of that, he is extremely against buying jewelry and has said multiple times that the only jewelry I'll ever get is going to be my engagement ring. This is the one and only thing I'll ever have that I will wear on my person that says "I love you" from him, and it just feels like so little.
I waited until I'd calmed down a bit and spent some time reflecting and I'm now unsure about whether or not I should say anything. One thing that I think may make me feel a bit better is to upgrade the to the stone/cut that I want instead of getting a wedding band, but I feel like I can't suggest that without admitting that I am disappointed in the ring as is, and in a lot of ways I feel like a snob being unhappy with it. What should I do? Should I suggest upgrading the ring and hope he doesn't read too much into it or do I need to explain? Am I just being a big old snob that I don't have a traditional engagement ring and I need to get over it?
Submitted February 12, 2021 at 12:41PM by myBisL2 https://ift.tt/3tU9MqE
No comments:
Post a Comment