EDIT: shit... title is supposed to say 5 years.
TL;DR: I'm dating an older woman and everything is great. But what holds for the future?
Background:
I'm an introverted, private person. I signed up for salsa lessons 5 years ago because I wanted to be more social. I met this woman who is energetic and outgoing. With her being older, I had no intention of developing a relationship. But we went on walks together and went social dancing and over the next 6 months (in 2016), my feelings for her grew.
When I met her, she was living with a partner (not married, but maybe common-law I'm not sure). But they were unhappy together and were going to break up even without considering me. Her partner has since moved out last year. She has one 10 year-old daughter from that relationship—smart, straight A student. I have no issues with her daughter.
5 years on and everything is going great. We're on the same page. We focus on growth and learning. I've introduced her to yoga, certain cuisine, great books. She's taught me to open up and be more expressive—she's the only person who I've sang in front of. We have the same values. We're so happy with each other. At this point, I wouldn't hesitate to say that we love each other.
She's my first kiss, first time sex. If it needs to be said, she's not grooming me or manipulating me or anything of that sort. Everything in our relationship is positive.
Problem:
Obviously, age is a huge factor. I have mentioned to her twice that I've always wanted to start a family with kids. I won't be able to have kids with her due to her age. But now, I'm not so sure. Kids were what I wanted since I'm "traditional" and, as a millennial, I'm comparing my milestones with my parents (married at 29, had me at 31). But with the financial cost of children, I'm not so sure anymore.
She has mentioned to me that if we were to break up, it would be 100%. We wouldn't be keeping in touch. I do want to keep in touch but I understand her point of view because the heartache would be too much—for the both of us. And I know nowadays, dating takes a lot of effort. I'm scared I wouldn't find someone like her (this sounds cheesy, I know. "Plenty of fish...", blah, blah, blah...) but again, dating is difficult.
I'm the sort of person who keeps a small circle of friends. I don't care much for people outside my circle but I care so much for those around me that I would give my life for them, that's how strongly I feel. And the thought of breaking up with her makes me cry, and out of all the movies I've watched, I've only cried during two—Finding Nemo and Click.
Question:
I'm not quite sure exactly what my question is but in general, what happens in the future? What happens when I'm 50 and she's 70? Do any of you have experience with large age differences (15+ years)?
If I could give more information that would be helpful, feel free to state your mind.
Submitted February 14, 2021 at 06:26PM by MrGiggleFiggle https://ift.tt/2Zjs6LU
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