My boyfriend’s (26M) job is going to kill him one day and I’m terrified. I just found out I’m pregnant. How do I (26F) go about talking to him about all of this? (Been together 11 years)

I’ll get straight to it, my boyfriend (26M) is a former professional motorcycle racer and is currently a test rider for several companies. He’s had 30 notable crashes since he started riding, they’re inevitable in his work but it’s not sustainable and every time he comes off slightly worse.

He’s currently crippled and in pain 24/7 in bed. His legs and arms are a wreck, his pelvis is partly shattered and just being alive hurts him. The doctors have said in 4-7 months he’ll be able to operate somewhat normally and in about a year he could in theory get back to work, I don’t want him to. This last crash nearly killed him and I know one day he won’t make it, you can only get so lucky when riding unstable prototype bikes at well over 200 on a regular basis.

I don’t mean to be a pushy girlfriend here but on this I know I’m right, he is going to die one day. It’s not like he needs this job anyway, he has more than enough money to do whatever he wants or just quit, he does this cause he enjoys it. I’ve talked to him about this before countless and tried to reason with him but he doesn’t ever really budge. I talked to him about this the other day and he just told me he’ll think about it, I know him and this does mean he actually will but I think he’s likely just going to say he’s going to keep doing this.

He has a damaged sense of self worth, he was quite badly abused by his mother and his dad was never in the picture, as a result he doesn’t really value his life and death doesn’t bother him, he isn’t really actively suicidal but he genuinely would not be fussed if he dropped dead one day.

Honestly, I’m scared. I don’t want to get a call one day telling me he’s in a coma or died and I know one day that will happen, two of the guys he used to work with ended up this way. When I met them they were happy, lovely guys, now they’re ashes and I see their photos framed up where he works, I don’t want that for him too. His death would destroy me.

He’s currently asleep in bed and I’m sitting here and it just hit me, I can’t do this, I can’t keep worrying about him killing himself every day, it’s not fair to either of us. It’s my 26th birthday today and I spent it doing housework and preparing him meals cause he can’t even walk. I do it because it’s my job as his partner but I don’t want that forever and he’s like this by choice. He didn’t mean to crash but he put himself in this situation time and time again.

To make things even worse yesterday I found out I’m pregnant, he has no idea yet and I don’t even know how to handle that conversation. I’m just feeling overwhelmed right now and everything that we used to do is now entirely on me, I could really use some advice. We will likely talk this through in a few days and I need some kind of advice on how I can get my views across properly and have a productive conversation where I don’t break down like a baby. Thanks in advance.

Edit: Since it’s been mentioned a few times, I don’t know what I’ll do about the pregnancy, I’m leaning more towards abortion as I don’t think I can raise a child.

TLDR: Boyfriend works as a motorcycle test rider, he’s crashed 30 times before and is currently bedbound after serious injury. This is going to be the death of him one day, what can I do?

Submitted January 19, 2021 at 07:29PM by openrelationshiphel https://ift.tt/2XYDv2Z