My [37F] step-daughter [18F] won't speak to me after I euthanized our family dog and I'm not sure how to begin mending relationship

So I've had the pleasure of being a step-mom to my wonderful girl for 10 years now. We are a generally close family despite some normal ups and downs thru the teen years. But things with my step daughter and I have been great for 2 years. Our relationship struggled a little early on when she felt like her dad was trying to replace her mom, which as a step kid myself I understand and I never intruded on her space or tried to parent her. It paid off and we became very close. Until last week.

We have had Buster, our Golden Retriever, since he was a puppy, and since my daughter was 9. He was 9 when he passed away. She, of course, lost her first pet when Buster died, which is hard. Its been hard on her Dad and I too; we understand. However, she seems to unfairly blame me for what happened and she won't even look at me. I'm struggling with how to go about extending an olive branch. It's really painful for me to be blamed for Buster's death and it hurts me to my core that she views me as this evil dog killer. I loved Buster as much as everyone else, he was my silly puppy, best friend, and goodest boy.

Buster was diagnosed with aggressive kidney cancer 2 years ago. We have gone above and beyond for treatment. Goldens are prone to it. He reached a point where all treatment was failing and continuing to keep him going would be selfish. He was in pain with no relief, couldn't control his bladder. He was ready.

The night he passed, our daughter was at a friend's place. I had taken him to the emergency vet because he had collapsed and wouldn't get up. It was his time, and as I mentioned before we knew that trying to treat would be cruel at this point. Our vet was ready, she knew. She told me to take my time but she knew that I knew what the right call was.

I called our daughter about 15 times and couldn't get ahold of her. Called her friend's Mom (it was 2am so she was none too pleased) and she wasn't there. So, she had lied about where she was. Unfortunate but in that moment I just wanted to find her so she could come to the clinic and see Buster before he went.

We couldn't get ahold of her. We had to let Buster go with just her Dad and I with him. It was horrible. We felt so bad that she wasn't there. When she finally called us back in the morning, she was devastated (understandably) and long story short accused me of purposely putting him down when she was gone. (I would never).

At this point she refuses to acknowledge me and calls me "that bitch" to her Dad. I'm at a loss. Advice?

TL;DR step daughter accused me of purposely euthanizing our dog when she was out of the house. I would never do that. Struggling to extend an olive branch, she won't even acknowledge me. Help?

Submitted January 23, 2021 at 06:21PM by curlytwurly https://ift.tt/368eZ3U