I’m 22F and I do damn near everything.
This is probably my fault. He knows I’m reliable and I’m more efficient at getting shit done without putting unnecessary stress on myself. He, on the other hand, gets stressed out if he doesn’t turn the oven to exactly 450 degrees when the pizza box asks for it.
We are moving and he has known about this for four and a half months. We have put a down payment on the place. We have paid our fees. We have started moving in as of 2 weeks ago. We are moving out of this apartment in less than 2 weeks.
Nearly everything is over there - then he suddenly hits me with “Do you think we can just stay here instead? I don’t really want to move because I’m really stressed out.”
I thought he meant just sit on the couch and do nothing. I’m cool with that. No, he meant literally stop the moving process and not move at all.
I have repeatedly asked him, begging him to please let me know if he’s overwhelmed with the process because I know myself: I can handle the burden. Moving isn’t an issue for me as much as it is for him.
But he’s now turned an otherwise easy-going, packing night into a high-intensity argument. Why? Why is wanting to stop when we have already paid for everything and have a 3/4 empty apartment?
“Well, I’m stressed out and I don’t want to do it.”
So I offered to move in by myself and he can go somewhere else then. Until he’s “ready”.
I’m furious. I understand change is hard for him, but if he didn’t want to do this, why the fuck did he give the go-ahead nearly 4 months ago?? He had all this time to tell me to stop looking for places. He had all this time to sit down with me one-on-one. He could’ve just fucking TOLD me instead of throwing a fit and sitting on the floor like a child.
Instead, I’m sitting in our bedroom fucking pissed.
This isn’t the first instance where if something stresses him out, the whole world has to come to a screeching halt.
Oh, we’re out at a family dinner and he hates crowds so he gets to make us all go home because he’s punching walls? Great.
Oh, he hates the smell of his sister’s perfume (she wears literally less than half a splash) so she can’t wear it anymore because the scent “literally drives him nuts”.
Oh, the fucking laundry isn’t folded the way he wants it so we can’t fold them any further unless I want him to get frustrated and stressed.
Every. Little. Thing. Is. Stressful. For. Him.
There is nothing I can do that even has a little stress that he can’t handle. I’m not asking him to run through fire for me or take a bullet: this was a long-term decision that he committed to and now wants to shut down because of how HE FEELS.
What about me? As selfish as that is, what about my fucking feelings?? I just have to bend over backwards to how someone else feels each and every time?? Enough is damn near enough.
TL;DR: Boyfriend (21M) gets stressed out over everything and his decision, when stressed, always becomes the final decision on everything. I am not just stressed - I am pissed. (22F)
Submitted January 25, 2021 at 07:22PM by urightprobably https://ift.tt/3qQ8CKq
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