My (25F) boyfriend (45M) wants to “pause” our 4 month relationship because he isn’t over his ex (25F) who is moving soon

Throughout our relationship, my boyfriend had swore up and down that this ex and him were just good friends and that he had no romantic feelings for her as they had dated very briefly last March and then decided to stay friends after it didn’t work out. About a month ago I found out he was inviting her over to his house without telling me, and that caused a lot of arguments because I wasn’t comfortable with it and he felt like I didn’t trust him and was too jealous. Every time her name would come up I would just get a horrible gut feeling, but because I didn’t want to come off like a possessive, jealous girlfriend, I just learned to deal with it.

About a week and a half ago, his ex finally admitted that she still had feelings for him. The thing is, she’s moving sometime this week to another state. She admitted that part of the reason she decided to move was because she realized nothing could ever happen between her and my boyfriend. After he found this out, he apologized to me like crazy, dropped off flowers at my house, and told me that this “distraction” would be gone soon and that he wasn’t going to invite her over anymore.

I thought everything was fine and we were in a really good place until two days ago when my boyfriend showed up to my work asking to talk to me. It was then that he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about his ex and he wasn’t over her. He was upset that he couldn’t give me 100% and felt like he was emotionally cheating, even though he said nothing physical had ever happened. He told me he wanted to pause our relationship until he got over her instead of breaking up outright. I straight out told him that I felt like he was just going to go sleep with his ex one last time before she left but he kept denying it, saying that nothing is going to happen between them, but that he is going to tell her how he feels. I told him that if anything happened between them, our relationship is over for good and he agreed with that.

I’m absolutely heartbroken, and I feel like something IS going to happen between them even though he kept denying it and telling me he loved me and only wanted me and wanted these feelings for her to be over. It’s also weird to me that this ex is my age because there’s a significant age gap there, and when we met he had told me I was the only person he had dated with this big of an age gap.

Is it stupid to wait for his feelings to go away (if ever) or am I better off walking away from this whole mess?

TL;DR: Boyfriend still has feelings for his ex who is moving to another state in the upcoming week and wants to put our relationship on pause until he feels like he’s giving me 100%

Submitted November 21, 2020 at 11:12AM by throwaway74736252 https://ift.tt/3lTwHhv