Me [21 F] with my close friend [21 F] friends for a year, am I being needy or is my anger justified?

Okay, so I have been friends with this girl for a year. We are very close, or at least I thought we were. Our relationship dynamic. Anyway, our friendship has always kind of been me going out of my way to help her or be there for her at all times even when I'm busy, and one time I couldn't be there for her and she was very upset with me. So I never made that mistake again. I would pay for her food and buy things for her with her promising to pay me back and when she did pay me back it would usually take weeks, and if I spent more than $20 on something she wouldn't pay me back at all, and I would ignore this transgression because we bringing it up made her upset and talk about how she didn't have the money right now. Interestingly enough, she drives a very expensive car and makes a lot of money selling her crafts and then proceeds to brag to me about how much money she makes selling her crafts. It also feels like she belittles me and talks down to me and treats me like I'm socially inept especially around our male friends. I'm a bit of nerd and she is more cosmopolitan so when I bring up board games she will later ask me why I was brining up weird topics around boys she is interested in.

What happened. So this week was a pretty big week for me and I got my senior ring at my university. My parents came into town and I was able to invite one person to go to lunch with us and go to my ring ceremony and I invited my friend days before hand, and she accepted my invitation and told me she would be there. She did not show. Instead the night before, she went clubbing and stayed out till two in the morning. My parents were disappointed, and I felt like a friendless loser. She apologized to me in the late afternoon, and although it felt hollow an empty I just simply asked her to be there for me and I set my expectations for the next day. The next day was my senior celebration party and I invited her to that and she had once again accepted the invitation, but then the time came she didn't show again, and when I called her about it she said that she was at another party earlier and they wouldn't let her leave because she had been drinking. Our talk Not once, but twice. I was more confrontational about her not coming to important events for me, when I always show out for her. There are more times than I can count when I've gone and picked her and her friends up or allowed her to store her crafts in my house or really just any favor. I would do it. I let her know this. She told me that she has been there for me too, and I responded and said I could maybe name like two times, and it feels like I am giving so much in our relationship and she isn't doing the same. She said that she does not want to compare times, which I understand because it's not like I was keeping track and it has to be even all the time, but at the same time, it feels like 100 to 2. The next point I brought up was, why did she have to drink at the other party she went to if she knew she had to come mine. To which she responded, that she wasn't going to "not" drink, just in order to come to my party. This didn't make sense to me? I next brought up that she missed my ring ceremony and now my senior celebration two days in a row after I specifically asked her to be there for me. She told me that she was there for me, but actions speak louder than words. She didn't apologize, she didn't even try to say I'll do better like she did before. It was like talking to a brick wall.

Questions? What can I do to get rid of this negativity I now have towards my friend and how can I fix this relationship? Also, what do you think about this situation? Am I being too needy or am I asking for too much of her?

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tl;dr: Friend bails on me for important life events, don't know how to handle it.

Submitted November 22, 2020 at 02:22PM by ath3nah https://ift.tt/2KrsZO1