You think you're close with people and then it turns out that it's only your projection of reality.

I put in a lot of effort for a friend, A, for her farewell, in March. The workgroup usually makes some efforts to gift people on their birthdays and farewells and the more creative efforts falls to me because 1) I'm good at it (humblebrag), and 2) I enjoy it. Organizing a photo book, and gifts, all personalized to A and her interests. It took a lot of my time and effort, and when she received them, she was ecstatic and absolutely loved her gifts (they were from all of us at work, as a group). Our group is pretty close as we are just about 15 people in one office. Coronavirus hit and when A landed a great job in early May, I was the last to know, amongst everyone else at my office. I was slightly upset but I knew she had a lot going on and let it go, thinking it was a one-off.

The same thing has repeated, today. Another friend, B, informed me today that she too had landed a job to start mid-July. I was in the office last evening when everyone else found out and I heard about it at noon today when she finally decided to tell me. She had already planned her farewell date for this Friday, and again I was the one making almost all the effort to organize gifts for her too. Also personalized and special and I'm sure she will love her gifts as well. I guess it's probable that because I joined this office just about 2.5 years ago, as opposed to A and B, who have been around for 6 and 3 years, respectively, they probably don't feel the same.

Does it sound childish to have some resentment about this? Maybe so. But considering that both A, B, and I were really close (we're all about the same age) and we have discussed our lives and we often hang out and stay in touch (beyond work), it feels more than just an oversight to me. Of course, I understand that it's their news and their prerogative to share with whomever they wish, however they want it. It doesn't invalidate my feelings of being just someone you remember when you need some creative work done.

If I actively take charge and delegate people for picking up small things, like a birthday card or asking anyone to help out with organising a small party are met with replies of "I'm too busy" and "I'm sure you can take care of it". This comes from a recent example of A's birthday, which was in January. B and several others were busier than God on judgement day (sorry if the analogy offends anyone).

As my title says, you think you're close with people and then it turns out that it's only your projection of reality.

TL;DR. Close friends at work relegate me to creative designer for birthday and farewell gifts but are unwilling to share personal info.

Submitted June 24, 2020 at 06:47AM by Lex_NotLuthor https://ift.tt/2CtBbt9