So I dated a guy back in college (almost 10 years ago now). We met right as I was graduating, but had a summer course left to finish. I knew I was eventually going to leave my college town (I'd already secured a job in a different city), so I intentionally kept my guard up and hoped to keep things casual. But, I found myself really falling for him over the summer we spent together. We never became "official," though the last day we'd spent together he'd admitted that he had been wanting to ask me to be his girlfriend. We said our goodbyes and that was that, though if I'm being honest, my feelings for him never really went away.
Fast forward - settled into my new city and in time, started a relationship with someone else. During that time, the college guy and I didn't really keep in contact; we only followed each other on social media accounts and would occasionally comment each other's things or send short DM's hoping the other was well. I eventually ended the relationship after 2 years (didn't have anything to do with the college guy).
Post-breakup, I happened to be visiting my college town and met up with college guy, and well...we met up. He admitted that he still had feelings for me, but I didn't feel ready to pursue a new relationship so fresh out of a breakup (timing didn't feel right, and we still didn't live in the same city). Over the weekend, we rekindled our old, deep connection and then we left it as-is and I said my goodbyes again.
Over the past through years and through multiple relationships (on both our ends), we always ended up finding our way back to each other. He ended up moving to the same city I lived in, and called me on occasion to ask how I was or whether I'd be willing to meet with him. When I was in a relationship, I'd decline (I know myself and the chemistry that we have, and I know I'd have cheated if I went); if I wasn't, we'd meet up and the sparks would fly all over again. I guess because the timing never worked out, we always left it at that - moments we'd treasure together over a weekend and then go back to our separate lives.
Now I'm in a solid relationship with a great man that I love (over 3.5 years), talking about engagement, and I'm realizing that my window is closing permanently on college guy. I'm having such conflicting feelings because on the one hand, while the idea of settling down with him sounds amazing, I still feel as if I have lingering feelings for "the one that got away." We don't interact as often anymore, he knows I'm in a serious relationship through social media, but occasionally will send a note to say hi or leave a heart on something I've commented on.
I'm wondering if the feelings I'm having would go away from seeking closure and meeting him one last time to say my goodbyes. On the hand, I know it is extremely dangerous given the history we have (so I'm debating if just a phone call would suffice), but the other part of me feels like I'll keep wondering what could have been if I don't allow myself to put my feelings out there.
Has anyone ever been in this situation and can shed some light? I'd love your insight.
TL;DR: Dated a guy in college, because I ended up leaving we left with a bit of ambiguity over our heads. Reconnected over the course of 10 years and never pursued anything aside from a casual fling due to timing. I'm in a stage in my new relationship where things are getting really serious and now I'm wondering if seeking closure will help ease my mind. What do?
Submitted June 03, 2020 at 05:53PM by throwaway119229 https://ift.tt/2A2Lu6H
No comments:
Post a Comment