I've lived with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and this has started to drive me crazy, but I don't know if I'm overreacting (I haven't live with anyone before). I feel like I'm playing second fiddle to his phone a lot of the time, and it makes me feel horrible.
He wakes up several hours before me, and when I wake up, he's reading on his phone. I come to say 'good morning', and he replies, but he won't stop scrolling on his phone. I come over and hug him and most of the time, he just continues reading on his phone. If he's ever just lounging around on the couch reading on his phone and I come over to hug or kiss him or just say hi, he often flatly says "I'm busy on my phone right now", and I walk away feeling awkward. He's on his phone and not replying to me when I cook dinner and am trying to make small talk, and he's on his phone and not really responding to things I say when we lay in bed at night.
Lately, we have only been spending a couple hours of 'quality time' together each day, where we watch a movie or a show. Then he goes off to do his own thing for several hours before bed. (This makes me sad because I want to spend more time with him, but he insists that he has to do his hobbies that are important to him). During this movie-watching time, he's started taking his phone out and reading entire articles while I'm trying to cuddle with him and make comments about the movie. It drives me INSANE. I just want to feel like I'm actively doing some activity with him for once.
I've been trying not to say anything about taking out his phone during the movie, but tonight I just had enough and said, "Hey, we don't have to watch this movie if you're not interested right now." He said "Obviously I'm interested, I'm sitting here watching it with you." I said, "Well, I'd prefer if you'd watch the movie with me instead of reading on your phone so I can feel like we're doing it together." He got angry with me and said I was "trying to control how he spends his time" and that he wasn't doing anything wrong. He then said that people half-watch movies all the time and it's not a big deal. I just stopped replying and accepted it so we wouldn't get into a fight.
I've mentioned his phone use bothering me before, and he insists that it's a normal amount and that I'm "being controlling" by asking him to engage with me more. Is he right? Is this what it's like to live with someone, and should I not ask him to be present with me during our limited 'together time' each day? Thanks for any help.
TL;DR: Boyfriend seems to always be on his phone, and I feel like he's ignoring my bids for connection/intimacy, but he doesn't think there's a problem at all.
Submitted May 01, 2020 at 09:50PM by Educational_Range https://ift.tt/2VVrJ9h
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