My boyfriend [23M] for 2 years says that a voice in his head tells him that he doesn’t actually love me [22F].

Hi Reddit, this is going to be a long one. I apologize if the format is all scrambled because I’m crying so much I can’t think straight.

Today started off such a good day — we woke up and he kissed me good morning. We spent the whole day together laughing and teasing each other, having fun. Now all of a sudden I feel like my world has been shattered.

2 hours ago he randomly said “we have to talk” and sat me on the bed. He says that he’s having strange thoughts in his head (he said it’s like a tiny “voice”) that tells him he doesn’t TRULY love me, and that he’s just with me because he can’t bare to see me lonely. He said that the voice tells him that he’s lying to me and that we should break up.

I’m so shocked. I asked him what he meant by that because he’s always told me he loved me? Were those all lies? Why would he feel like that? He said that it doesn’t happen to him always but when he’s alone in thought, that voice comes back and tells him that he’s lying to me, that he’s only with me because he’s scared he won’t find someone better. He says he argues with the voice and says that he DOES love me and he would do anything for me, but it always comes back and haunts him and he’s not sure how to keep it from me anymore.

He said that he might be feeling this way because I’m his first girlfriend and he’s inexperienced with what “love” is supposed to feel like. He always thought it would be jitters and butterflies and nerves, but he said he’s never felt that way with me. He just feels “comfortable” and safe. He also said that although he feels the happiest he’s ever been with me, he still feels like there’s a hole inside of him. He said that what he feels with me is so different from what it’s like in the movies, he ends up questioning himself.

He says he doesn’t want to break up and he just wanted to let me know that he had these thoughts but he would never act on it. He wanted ME to validate his thoughts and he asked me if I ever felt like he didn’t love me, and that if I ever felt like he was “hiding something”. I said no... and he seemed to feel better and more reassured that his feelings for me were real.

I’m just so confused on what to do. I feel like crap because now that I think back on all of our memories, I’m haunted by the image that when he looks at me deep in the eyes, he’s not looking at me with love, he’s questioning whether not he loves me. I don’t know how much of our relationship he was faking being happy. I don’t know how common this feeling that he has is either, or if this questioning is normal. I don’t want to be the person validating my boyfriends feelings for me... Are these thoughts potentially a mental illness? Or is he actually lying to himself that he loves me? Can this even be fixed with couples therapy?

I don’t know how to move on from this talk. I think that we should probably break up, but I don’t want to mistakenly break up with him in case he actually does love me, but is just blinded by “TV love” or by inexperience. I always thought he did love me from his actions...

Please help reddit. Is this relationship worth staying in?

TLDR; Boyfriend says that voice in his head haunts him and tells him that he doesn’t love me. He feels it’s because he always thought he’d get butterflies with his gf, but he never has them with me. We’ve never had any problems these past 2 years and I’ve always felt that he loved me. Should we break up? Is this a sign of a hidden mental illness?

Submitted May 25, 2020 at 04:26PM by dankw33b https://ift.tt/3cYW2SB