TLDR: My otherwise awesome mom is obsessed w Marie Kondo & just tried to "Declutter" my house, creating havoc.
So my othewise amazing mom goes on these self-improvement kicks (as long as I can remember) and is really pushy about dragging EVERYONE with her.
Her latest and strongest (over a year now) is freaking Marie Kondo. Except she takes it another step further, thinking people should give away things they love because other people need them more. It’s become like a moral imperative to her (“think of all these families who NEED the things you have! Why are you holding them back!”)
My kids are close in age so a lot of books, toys, clothes etc go back and forth between their rooms and a lot of my stuff gets brought into the mix.
The other day she watched my kids while I was at work (out of state visit). I came home to boxes and boxes literally stacked in my hall so it was tough to move. My husband was furious at the mess.
She’d had the kids go through their rooms and give her everything “they” don’t use, etc. it sounds like she helped them decide what that was, so anything in their room that they didn’t own, or she didn’t like, ended up in boxes. This included dozens of books that they still read and love, very valued keepsakes of mine, and much loved toys belonging to the other child.
The kids were going through the tops of the bins, and crying when they noticed stuff that they love & still use in there. I found A keepsake given to me by a dead relative, and pointed out what it was. My mom just shrugged and said “I know, I know.”
The following morning, we were concerned that she was going to take the boxes to Goodwill to donate, so we crammed my SUV full just to protect our stuff.
So, despite having chronic pain & being late to work, I took half an hour of my time, to protect my stuff from Goodwill.
It’s created a last-minute fire drill, and major project this weekend, where of about 14 boxes, only half of a box should be going to Goodwill.
The problem was, this should not have happened on her schedule, and based on what she felt we didn’t need. I have an introverted, geeky hobby that I’ve had for most of my life that she (most of the extended family) of, 90% of my stuff from there of course ended up in the donation bins.
Is there a way that I can communicate to her, without hurting her feelings, how hurtful, disrespectful, and stressful her actions were?
Frankly, I like stuff, and this extreme cleaning is just not a priority for me. Because of having these health issues at such a young age, I am hyper conscious about maximizing the time I do have and enjoying my life, not throwing a bunch of shit away to please other people.
She was supposed to come stay with us later this year to help with the kids while I get a badly-needed surgery (there is no support locally, save a greedy, lazy relative who doesn't understand why we don't bend over backwards to buy HER kids a bunch of shit) and I don’t feel right now like I can trust her not to do that again.
Submitted January 04, 2020 at 06:24PM by AllegedHoarder https://ift.tt/2FnK4Tr
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