My girlfriend (23F) is feeling insecure because of comments made by our friends at a social event

I began to notice this issue towards the start of the New Year. My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) invited a few of our friends over that we've known from high school for many years. We were having a generally great time chatting, drinking etc. Then I noticed my girlfriend was walking inside and staying inside for a long period of time. Once i had realized she was going inside once again, I asked her simply if she was okay.

She told me that two of our friends X & Y (23F & 25F) were talking oddly high of their close friendship with their mutual friend Z (25F). She went on to tell me that they also kept firm eye contact with my partner when they were saying things such as, "I'm so glad we are friends with her (Z). We are the only friends Z appreciates. Z doesn't want another friends than what she has already got". My partner took this as a very passive aggressive way of saying that she is not welcome in their friend group and that she may as well not even try to live up to their "Standards" in life. I've known her to read into things that aren't necessarily there due to her anxiety but I always believe what she tells me.

My partner then began to have a mild anxiety attack after explaining this to me and I consoled her for a majority of the night and helped her through it.

I spoke to all friends about it the next day and I tried to understand what had been exactly said. They basically told me that X & Y were having a DNM about how their friendship came to be and that they are so happy that they are all friends (X,Y & Z) and that it didn't appear to come off as a personal attack towards my partner.

We've since distanced a little bit from these particular friends until she feels comfortably around them. But ever time I try and bring up the topic to speak to her she closes up and begins to breakdown over it.

I've exhausted a lot of avenues to try and talk her through this and try to understand it better but now she wants to move cities and distance ourselves even further from our friend groups. I'm not sure how to take this on any further?

TLDR; Had small social event, my partner had an anxiety attack over something that was said between friends, I asked friends a day later, they said it was nothing personal towards my partner, my partner wont talk about it and now wants to move to a new location

Submitted January 28, 2020 at 12:44AM by esky21 https://ift.tt/38Ey7VU