So when my father passed away he left my sibling and I two properties worth a few million in total and while we I was never that close with my dad and I never expected this at this stage of my life, it will certainly put myself and my partner in a good position.
However I don’t feel like my partner is particularly happy about the situation. My partner’s salary has always been twice as much as mine and because of this he has typically footed the majority of expenses and been kind of the ‘provider’ I guess. He grew up in a traditional household with his father the breadwinner/man of the house, and while we’re not as traditional (I most likely won’t be a stay at home mum), I can’t help but feel this has changed the dynamic of our relationship.
I thought it was a coincidence at first, but every time I discuss developments with family / the will or ideas for the future ((there’s been some hurdles with money-grabbing family members over the past several months and unexpected debt (hundreds of thousands worth) that the estate will have to cover)) it ends with me feeling like crap, not listened to, not supported.
What could be the reason? its very out of character. He is usually very attentive, thoughtful, a great listener, empathetic. A friend suggested it could be due to envy? I don’t want to believe this however. A hit to the ego as I’m a woman and he’s a man and this kind of goes against gender norms? The fact that he feels uncomfortable to comment because it’s not really his money?
I see us getting married in a couple of years and I want him along for the journey and would like to feel like he wants to be involved. It hurts my feelings that he almost doesn’t want to hear about anything related to this life change.
My brother’s partner is happy & excited for my brother. Why can’t my partner be supportive/happy for me/us? I would love his advice too as ultimately whatever we plan to do ie. buy a house will involve both of us and our future children.
I know I should talk to him about it. But even a mundane conversation about hypothetical scenarios (which is only like once every month or so) related to buying property in the future etc ends in petty arguments and me feeling like I should never have even mentioned anything, so I just don’t know how to go about it.
Lately I’ve resolved to just not mention anything to do with it - meetings with lawyers, convos with my brothers etc. I figure this is the easiest way for now, while he processes it. But ultimately I would love him to be involved. I just don’t know how.
TL;DR Boyfriend doesn’t seem to be happy that I’ve received a fairly hefty inheritance - hates talking about it. Not sure how to bring this up without appearing condescending
Submitted January 27, 2020 at 07:37PM by Jaded_Visual https://ift.tt/2U09zTj
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