The guy(23m) I'm(22f) seeing is super offended that I want to meet him in person before making things "official".

Throwaway because he knows my Reddit account.
I honestly don't know what to do. This whole situation screams "Red flag!!" to me, yet I feel guilty for thinking he's giving off red flags because aside from this, he is great. Something that I feel is relevant to the situation is that I have a 3 year old child.

So I met this guy on a dating app a few weeks ago, not even a month ago. We live a few hours away from each other. We both started to catch feelings for each other rather quickly, which is foreign to me. I usually don't develop feelings for people quickly at all. We have voice called probably 10-15 times, and have only video chatted once for about 20 minutes. I'm confident he's not a catfish, that's not my issue. I'm just careful about who I date, who I bring into my life, etc because I feel as a parent, I have that responsibility to make sure I'm safe and happy, and also to prevent my son from getting hurt as well.

To make a very long story short, last week, the guy I'm seeing mentioned how he wants to be in a relationship with me. I told him I want that as well, eventually, but I'd like to meet him in person at least before we take the next step and head towards a more serious relationship. He got really offended, and started saying things like, "we already talk to each other like we're in a relationship, what would putting it on Facebook change?" I would reply with, "if it wouldn't change anything, why is it so important that we make it "Facebook official"?" This went back and forth for a while. I seriously felt like I was in high school again.

He then began to go on about how I am "keeping him a secret", and that my actions are "fuelling his paranoia"... He kept saying things like, "It feels like you just don't want to make things official yet in case I'm ugly in person." I tried multiple times to explain to him that it wasn't the case, and that I find him extremely attractive. I just do not want to jump into a long distance relationship with someone I have never met in person before, in order to protect myself and my toddler. He was really upset, but he said he'd drop it because he didn't want to ruin what we had. We agreed that we were exclusive/monogamous/not seeing other people, but I made it clear I would not be in an official "relationship" with him until we met in person.

Then, yesterday, he brings the issue up again out of the blue. He kept repeating that it felt like I was ashamed to be with him, and that it makes "zero sense how this has anything to do with my 'infant' son"... I got really upset and annoyed because every explanation I'd give to him, he would shoot down and say that it "doesn't make sense at all". He would then say things like "it's so unfair that this small gesture is such a huge deal to me and you don't care at all." He has said that this issue has been "eating him up inside for a week".

It honestly feels like he's trying to manipulate me, and it's sending off huge alarm bells in my head that he just won't let this issue go. Why must we make things "Facebook official" before we even meet? I do not think it's unreasonable for me to want to meet someone first before I get into a relationship with them? How does he not see my side of this? We've been arguing about this non-stop for the past 24 hours even though I keep telling him that I will not be changing my mind about this. It kills me because I really do like him, but am I crazy for feeling this is weird and alarming behaviour? I hope his intentions aren't sour but I can't help but think that they are, now that he's so adamant on "claiming me" before we even meet in person... I really need advice on what to do.

TLDR: the guy I met online less than a month ago asked me to be his girlfriend and got really offended when I said I wanted to meet him in person first. He keeps bringing it up and it's putting a huge wedge in between us. I am completely turned off and alarmed but I'm not sure if I'm taking this the wrong way or not.

Submitted January 29, 2020 at 01:44PM by throwaway9x1x1 https://ift.tt/3aNNoWt