We have been together 7 years, we have a 3yr old son together. I’m the beginning of our relationship we would fight often, he would get extremely drunk and there was violence. I got super depressed and stopped working or going to school because we would get into a bad cycle. We were living 2 hours away from our hometown for the first 4 years of our relationship. He has only worked maybe 5-20 hrs/week at minimum wage a total of 8 months the entire time we’ve been dating. His parents pay for everything for him, car/apartment/school (which he often drops his classes). I admit when we first moved together I paid 1/2 the rent to his parents (gave to him per his parents and then watched him blow it on worthless crap while I couldn’t afford to feed myself), but I got really depressed and stopped working and didn’t pay rent. When I found out I was pregnant I thought things would change, then one night while I was pregnant we got into a fight and he ended up pushing me into the closet where I fell. That was my breaking point and I told him if he ever laid another hand on me again I would call my dad and go home (my dad has repeatedly told me if he comes to his house and tries anything he will shoot). Anyways, we moved back to home city into an apartment so we’d have help from his family and possibly my dad when our son was a couple months old.
Shortly after moving back to home city, my grandmother had a stroke and I ended up having to take guardianship of my 1/2 sister or she’d end up in the system. He knew that was a possibility since the beginning of our relationship, but once she moved in with us he absolutely hated her. We’d fight every damn day and my sister was basically locked in her room 24/7 except during school hours. It came down to choosing between him or her, I decided to move out into my own place. During that time he drank in excess daily, destroyed his apartment, and ended up multiple times into mental health facilities. It was bad, he blamed me because I took his son away. I always allowed him to have our son when he was stable but when he wasn’t I didn’t let him take him. About a year and a half later my roommate/ex best friend ended getting fired and had to move home, I couldn’t afford the apartment alone. He seemed stable again at this point and I told him either I’d move into a smaller/cheaper apartment or we could try again to live together. He said he wouldn’t treat her bad again and he would be better. Since I’ve moved back in with him, I pay $400/month to his mom for rent. He doesn’t work or contribute anything. I purchase everything for the apartment and our son. I’ve accepted that, and he says once he’s done with school he will work and help. He takes 2 classes a semester, so idk when he will finish. He sleeps all day (3a-4/6p) and stays up smoking pot at night. I’ve repeatedly asked him if he could get up even at 10-11a and he says he will set an alarm but never does or blames me getting up at 8a with our son so he doesn’t get woken up. Now recently I graduated nursing school, my last day he woke up from a nap and just left to spend the evening with his friend without even saying congrats. He knew it was my last day and knew that my class wasn’t having a graduation ceremony (there’s one in May but by that point I’ll be working as a nurse). It hurt when he just left without a word or asking me if I wanted to do something. Every time his friend calls his phone is answers it or calls back immediately, but I can call him and it’ll go to voicemail or he won’t pick up. Every 2 weeks he goes out with his friend to the bar for 4-8 hours. He has never taken me out on a legit date, I’ve told him I’d like to do stuff just him and I. I bought concert tickets and set up someone to watch our son about 6-8 weeks ago as a date to let him get the idea. I’d even be happy if he just took me out to dinner or a movie or the bar. I feel hurt. Also worth noting that I haven’t gotten over is in the 7 years we’ve been together, 3 times he has gone looking for a prostitute when he was manic but said all three time he didn’t either have enough money or couldn’t get hard because he felt bad. My trust level is nil. He is diagnosed with bipolar but won’t take meds because he says they make him feel bad and that he doesn’t believe in mental illness. I do love him but I’m worried that nothing will ever change. He can be so sweet and he can be good with our son. And I am no perfect person, I get mad and say mean things I don’t mean. I can get lazy with housework but always try to not let it go too long. I don’t know what to do, please help.
TL;DR- My boyfriend of 7 years sleeps 16 hours/day, doesn’t contribute towards anything related to house or relationship, and puts more effort into his best friend than our relationship. Do I leave for the final time?
Submitted January 29, 2020 at 02:09PM by muno5925 https://ift.tt/2U9rsPw
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