Need advice (23F) on how to tell my mum (55F) the reasons why I don't want to marry the man (27M) she wants me to.

Hello, this is my first post here so sorry if it's not clear, also I'll try to not make it too long.

Two years ago my mother tried to marry me this guy, he's an architect, from a really good family, earns a lot of money and also a nice person on the outside. Despite all of this I said no because I was young and didn't wanted to marry since I was still finishing my degree and all. Long story short, my mum guilt tripped me and emotionally manipulated me and I ended up accepting to get to know him.

I spent a week with him and at first things were ok, but when we started to dip into more complex subjects I started to see that a life with him was going to be an unhappy life, those things were:

-He's jelous, saying he wouldn't stop me but he wouldn't like either if I went alone with a male friend.

-He's a heavy drinker (he drank almosta full vodka bottle and said that he gets violent when he's drunk).

-He's not a feminist, not a mysoginis either but clearly he still thinks that I should be the caregiver and all of that.

-He said that he would raise his boys ''like men'' and if he had a child that was gay, bi or trans he would send them away from home like some kind of pariah.

-He just wants to accumulate wealth and doesn't really care about social issues (something that's really important to me), he also thinks poor people are the reason why the economy is bad.

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Here are some of the reasons why I wouldn't marry, to everyone that I talked to they seem logical but I know that if I tell my mother she's not going to care because she thinks exactly the same (I told her about the jelousy thing and she said that it was completely normal).

The thing is that she keeps asking me why I won't marry him, and telling me really nasty things to me that make me almost every week cry (imagine how I feel after 2 years), but I can't tell her any of this because she won't care so what I need is some advice in how to tell her that I don't want to marry him without disclosing the reasons but being clear enough so she leaves me alone at once.

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TL;DR!: My mother wants me to marry a guy that is everything that I dislike but everything that she loves and I need advice and how to explain to her why I won't do it but without disclosing the full reasons.

Edit 1: someone said that I should clarify my cultural background, as some can suspect my mother’s side of the family is North African and Muslim so this kind of thing is pretty normal.

Submitted January 28, 2020 at 01:12PM by Kaendra__13 https://ift.tt/38YqY39